Heavenly Soul [BL]

Qinghe knew he was in a dream.

He felt cold chains wrapping around him, holding him immobile as scalding pain tore through him.

The blistering heat traveled through his veins, melting them. He could feel it reaching for his lungs, his stomach, spleen, kidneys, liver… He could feel it in his mind, burning away rational thought, leaving him a writhing wreck that only sought an end to the torment. He could feel it slowly, oh so slowly, making its way to his heart, the delicate sack of muscle frantically fluttering like a frightened bird in a cage.

The pain wrapped around his neck, a pitiless collar constricting around his throat, leaving him gasping and thrashing.

Maybe he was still stuck with the Nightmare Parasite, he thought in befuddlement.

Eventually becoming one with the pain, Qinghe no longer felt the need to resist. He could just give up and stay here like this.

“…ior…ther…!”

Qinghe heard someone calling from far away and ignored it. It must be a figment of his imagination. But the calls got clearer and more insistent as time passed.

“…nior…rother…Junior Brother!”

Hmm, he seemed to recognize this voice? Who was…Ah, wasn’t it his senior brother Chen Xiande?

“Feng Qinghe, you better wake up right this second!” a loud voice assaulted his ears, instantly awakening his blurred consciousness.

Qinghe shot up and quickly surveyed his surroundings, searching for the threat. The cell was clear of everyone except his senior brother and him. Not finding any danger, he turned to look puzzled at Chen Xiande.

“Senior Brother, what’s wrong?”

Chen Xiande was just about on the verge of tears. He was so relieved that Qinghe woke up that all strength left his body and he slumped down tiredly.

“Senior Brother!” Qinghe called out in alarm.

Weakly, Chen Xiande explained, “In your sleep, you suddenly stopped moving. I couldn’t even use my spiritual power to tell if you were breathing. You were so still that I thought you…that you…” The words ‘passed in your sleep’ remained unsaid, but Qinghe surmised it anyway.

“I’m sorry to have caused you to worry, but I’m fine. I was just having a nightmare,” Qinghe said, chagrined.

Nodding, Chen Xiande asked, “What kind of a nightmare did you have?” His nerves were still somewhat unsettled, so he tried to make small talk to calm himself down.

“Nothing, just about something relating to the past,” Qinghe replied vaguely, his hand reaching up to check that there was nothing around his neck.

Qinghe was sure that his dream had been a mix of his experiences from his childhood, the Nightmare Parasite, the torture, and the recent incident with the sword. But all of them were now firmly in the past. He had gotten through it and survived, that was all that mattered.

Fidgeting for a while, Chen Xiande pensively spoke, “Junior Brother, I… I’m sorry I let you down. It’s my fault that I was captured and ended up dragging you into this. I promise to train hard from now on!”

Raising an eyebrow, Qinghe said, “It was their enmity with me that caused them to kidnap you in the first place. If anyone has to be blamed, it should be me. Please don’t feel responsible, Senior Brother.”

Chen Xiande looked unconvinced and Qinghe let him be. If his senior brother was able to gain some motivation due to this, then that was a good thing.

“But… You still suffered. Are you really alright, Junior Brother?” Chen Xiande persisted. The fair skin of the person in front of him was still marked with injuries, some of them looking very severe. He couldn’t help but worry. Just how much pain was he in?

Qinghe reassured, “I’ll be alright if I take some healing pills. I’ve had much worse and came out just fine, so please don’t worry.”

As Chen Xiande digested his words, Qinghe rummaged in his sleeves and retrieved a bottle of pills. His stomach had been leaking blood all this time despite Chen Xiande’s efforts to staunch the bleeding.

In quick succession, Qinghe popped a blood replenishing pill, healing pill, vitality restoring pill and other relevant pills into his mouth. It would have been much better had he had his spiritual energy to properly absorb and circulate the pills’ effects. He’d just have to make do with the reduced efficiency for now.

Hesitantly, Chen Xiande asked, “Junior Brother… You said you’ve been through worse. Just why and when did this happen?”

Feeling his wounds beginning to heal and his health returning, Qinghe was cheerful as he answered, “Oh, that. It was some time ago. Master needed a rare blue abyss herb and dispatched me to find it. Who knew that a group of passersby would have already found it before me and have taken it? I naturally tried to negotiate for it, but they tried to cheat me out and then threw me into a deep pit with spirit sucking miasma after cutting off my four limbs.

“It took a really long time to grow back, you know! I had to wait there for six months until my limbs slowly regenerated. Thank goodness I’m a cultivator or there’d have been no chance of regrowing them. Then it took me another two months to slowly climb up. After all, newly grown hands and legs need to redevelop their muscles, so it couldn’t be helped. But I eventually got out and tracked down those cheating bastards and got my revenge. Oh, and I also got the herb and some other treasures from them as an apology.”

Chen Xiande’s eyes grew wider and wider as he listened to his junior brother merrily recite hardships that would have broken a normal person.

But Chen Xiande still didn’t know the true extent of the mental and physical suffering Qinghe had to go through because of the ordeal, and Qinghe didn’t see the need to enlighten him.

Back then in that pit, though the cut-off limbs had lain right in front of him, he could not move towards them or find a way to reattach them. After all, he’d had no hands or legs. He could only watch them being devoured by maggots as his bones grew anew in a slow and painful process, the muscles and tendons sluggishly crawling over them, their growth even slower. The persistent itchiness along with the sharp and unending stabs of pain he’d felt as his nerves re-formed and connected once more had been almost unendurable.

In contrast to that excruciating agony and psychological suffering, what was a little torture? It was almost adorable in comparison.

“Does Master often send you out on these kinds of missions? And do you often get…tortured like this?”

“Hmm?” Qinghe had been happily reminiscing about the ‘revenge’ bit when he heard the question. “Oh, yes. But he doesn’t know what goes on between the time he gives me the assignment and the time I return to report its completion. And Senior Brother, the world can often be a cruel place. I’m used to it.”

Wanting to cry, Chen Xiande shouted in his heart: You shouldn’t have to get used to this!

His junior brother had lived such a tragic life! And to think he had been jealous of his treatment all this time. It was a wonder his junior brother didn’t hate his blind past self. How he could retain even a bit of compassion was beyond his understanding.

Though Chen Xiande hated pain, he vowed to himself that he’d try to share his junior brother’s burden from now on! He was his senior brother and someone who hoped to be the future sect master, it was the least he could do.

Unknown to the impassioned Chen Xiande, Qinghe was smiling slyly in satisfaction. This much should be enough of a push, right?

Breaking out of his thoughts, Chen Xiande seriously lectured Qinghe, “Junior Brother, but you still shouldn’t have provoked that man so much.”

Confused, Qinghe let out an “Ah?”

Chen Xiande continued, “That black-robed man who tortured you, I mean. Why didn’t you just pretend and act like he wanted you to and spare yourself the pain?”

Qinghe smiled widely and spoke, “I’d rather have myself skinned.”

“…” Why do you say that with so much cheer? Chen Xiande finally spoke with difficulty, “Junior Brother, I finally realize what a stubborn person you are.”

Widening his eyes as if in surprise, Qinghe replied, “Senior Brother, whatever gave you the idea that I wasn’t stubborn in the first place?”

“…”

Yes, he really should have seen it before. He had no one but himself to blame for being blind and misunderstanding his junior brother all these years.

Sighing in defeat, Chen Xiande said mildly, “Junior Brother, you take too much upon yourself. In the future, please let me help you too. I don’t want you to get hurt more than necessary.”

Qinghe was shocked. Since when had his senior brother started showing such overt signs of concern or care? But it also made him happy.

“Yes, thank you!” Qinghe said, his smile radiating simple joy.

Having stayed silent throughout the brotherly bonding session, the silver-haired woman finally spoke, “Boy, you’ve really suffered.”

Startled, Qinghe looked at her. He’d almost forgotten her presence.

“Not especially so. It’s nothing I can’t handle anyway,” he said.

Shaking her head, the woman sent her silver locks tumbling. Her voice was distant as she spoke, “It is no matter, you will be alright now, the people beside you will make sure of that. You’ll eventually meet your family and finally get the future you deserve.”

“I already have a family. I am satisfied,” Qinghe said.

In a hazy voice, she replied, “Not that one, your birth family. Your father and mother.”

Qinghe pondered in silence.

“Huh? What are you babbling about now?” Chen Xiande erupted, annoyed. Why did this woman always have to interrupt with her strange words?

But Qinghe was studying the woman carefully.

His gaze landed on her shining silver hair. The round moon that peeked through the window was reflected in her wide, moist eyes, setting them alight. Her expression was serene, a soft smile curving her lips.

Now more than ever, Qinghe was convinced of her identity.

Bowing with his fist cupped, Qinghe said humbly, “This disciple thanks Elder for the reading.”

The woman laughed, the sound like the tinkling of silvery bells. “Clever, clever boy!”

Chen Xiande asked confusedly, “What reading? What are you talking about?”

Qinghe merely smiled as he thought how fortunate he was to get a reading of his future from an Elder of the Silver Moon Sect’s elusive Silver Mist.

Silver Mist was a secret division of the Silver Moon Sect that consisted of seers who foresaw the future. Since it was a carefully maintained secret, Qinghe didn’t want to give it up that easily to his senior brother.

Still smiling, he said, “Maybe Senior Brother will understand when you become the sect master.”

This did not appease Chen Xiande, but he chose to pout in silence instead of asking more about it.

All was quiet once again. It was still dark outside, so Qinghe lied down to catch some more sleep.

Chen Xiande and the silver-haired Elder also laid down. It had been an exhausting day after all.

“…Junior Brother,” Chen Xiande called out softly. “Can we really escape tomorrow even after everything that happened today?”

With a smile evident in his voice, Qinghe replied, “Senior Brother need not worry. Everything that happened today was well within my expectations. We will definitely get out by tomorrow, please have faith.”

Finally comforted, Chen Xiande fell asleep.

Qinghe, on the other hand, had to hide his grimace of pain as he tried to maintain his inner stability. The extra power he’d absorbed was rioting, trying to get out. But it had no body to return to, all the others that the sword had devoured from had already died. It was all he could do to barely maintain the balance of the extra energy with his inherent soul energy without damaging the restrictions around his soul.

Thankfully, he had adjusted the restrictions previously while on Starry Mountain Peak so that they wouldn’t be as constricting to avoid what happened last time. For now, there was no permanent damage, and Qinghe wanted to keep it that way.

Suppressing the roiling power, Qinghe thought about tomorrow.

Soon… soon he’d be able to get rid of this excess energy.

Reassuring himself, he also fell asleep.

……

When dawn brought with it a new day, Qinghe woke up blearily with a body full of aches and pains.

Qinghe only had to bow his head to see the progress of the wounds through the holes in his clothes. Most of the green and purple bruises had healed enough to turn yellow. They’d probably disappear within the day. The cuts and open wounds had closed, leaving behind faint pink lines. The burn marks seemed to be taking a bit longer, but they’d be healed by the end of the day as well.

What was problematic was the wound on his stomach. Having been run through by that sword, then having that sword twisted and aggravating the injury, the damage had been quite severe. Though Qinghe could feel that the torn tissue and organs had been healed, a new layer of skin having grown over it, the entire area felt all too tender and delicate for his comfort. Qinghe felt that if he moved too suddenly, the wound might tear open again, all that healing coming undone.

Then again, there was also the grinding, bone-deep pain in his chest. It felt like a few ribs were bruised and at least a couple were broken, pressing into his lungs. Any movement could easily make the bone shards pierce his lungs. Not to mention all the other broken, fractured, or shattered bones. The torture hadn’t been gentle after all. Even after all that time he’d spent healing, all these wounds had only barely been repaired.

Sighing, Qinghe sat back against the wall. It would be best to not move too much then.

Chen Xiande, also having woken up, glanced at the thick and dark circles under his junior brother’s tired eyes, his beautiful face somewhat wan. This gave a whole new meaning to the term ‘haunting beauty’.

“Junior Brother… are you alright?” he asked worriedly. Was he pushing himself too much?

Qinghe indeed was, but he wasn’t about to tell him that. “I will be fine once we get out,” he said instead. Though his tone was casual, his voice was hoarse and strained.

Ignoring his senior brother’s anxious gaze, Qinghe sat down and meditated, preparing for the evening.