Chapter 89
Meet Him (4)
Yeah, I wrote it. I wrote and consumed emotion. In the words of Hyundai, it was digested.
“But it’s just a habit. ”
“That means writing as a habit. ”
When you think about it, you grab the pen if you’ve been upset since you were a child. It was a habit. So I didn’t think it was much practice or training.
If you use a lot, you can do well. If you can write about the anger that has been done so far, he was somewhat right.
“You’ve been writing naturally. It’s a habit that takes place with character over time. Writing with all your heart is the hardest, but it’s also the easiest. Sometimes even children write. ”
“Then I will. ”
“Even if your talents are made of training, it’s no exaggeration. ”
Hyundai said, looking at his face quietly.
“Well, you don’t seem to be drawn to the word genius. ”
I guess they figured it out. He smiled and accepted.
And I said, “Yeah, I have a different word for that. ”
“Wise.”
He opens his mouth, changing the mood.
“Nothing’s as stupid as wanting talent on this floor. ”
Glug. The door opens as soon as you finish speaking. The food is here. Food was filled between Australia and Hyundai. He looked carefully into the plate. This is the food that Hyundai always orders.
“Fish dish?”
“I hope it suits your taste. ”
“I eat well. ”
“It’s a good thing. And for a writer, ecstasy is fatal. ”
It wasn’t just about the food. Bias. It was the writer’s most elusive issue. He listens to him and nods.
The two of them started eating. When I cut through the fish, I came out with white innards. Soft and pungent. The scent of Galik and Herb is mysteriously concealed. Eating together with the asparagus helps keep your mouth clean.
Delicious.
“You seem to like it. ”
“Yes, it’s really good. ”
Hyundai talked about it while having a nice meal.
“So where are you on your paperwork? ”
It was about his work. He told me of his progress.
“About time we started observing the three brothers. ”
“Hmm.”
It is a boundary that goes from early to middle. The old man insists on being alone and is left at home, then starts to look at the three brothers living next door.
It was a particularly emotional area that caught my ankle. The three brothers who secretly watched the three big brothers slip away as if they were contagious to the elderly. It was the beginning of the destruction.
I suddenly wondered about him. Why did he deliberately put such deep emotions into a sentence? There must have been a reason for listing the unbearable emotions.
He asked the parties without delay.
“Why did you come up with that? ”
“What if it is? ”
“It’s an inscription. ”
Hyundai smiled and raised two fingers.
“There are two reasons. ”
There were many reasons to be impulsive.
“One is how I came to write a work called mirrors. ”
“A trigger.”
Words that are critical causes or opportunities that make something happen or change.
“I looked in the mirror. ”
“As usual?”
“Yes, I twisted it intentionally. I wanted to write the next one. The obvious is gone, the only doubt remains. I looked in the mirror in that state. I could see it was me. It was weird and it felt bad. Even if I resist, I know I’m me. I can drink or fall asleep. Boring.”
Realizes that you are yourself Even if you resist, you are yourself.
“When I look in the mirror, I am there. ”
He said small. Hyundai nods.
“It’s no fun. ”
Saying so, he began the story of the animal.
“The smart elephant looks at the back of the mirror at first. Just be vigilant for now. I’m curious. I think I want to get along. I envied an animal that could show such colorful emotions against itself. How does it feel to be able to treat me like someone else? ”
Wild animals look in the mirror and attack. You don’t know if you’re shining a light on it. He’s alert and scared, to himself. It was unimaginable to man. I don’t know who I am compared to the mirror in the human world, so punching there is not easy.
Humans are animals.
It’s really strange.
Hyundai said, cutting the flesh of the fish.
“I wanted to be that animal. ”
I want to be an animal. Have you ever thought about that?
“I don’t pretend to know. Repeating simple thoughts, I think about who that stranger is all day long. It’s fun. You can imagine not being trapped in any frame against me. Maybe I spend my whole life talking to him to stand next to him. Isn’t it fun just thinking about it? ”
It was fun. Could he have been an animal?
“But it didn’t work. I’m useless. So I picked up a pen instead. That’s all I can do. ”
“And the work of the Mirror was born. ”
He gives you a small nod.
Hearing him, I felt a little trapped.
He imagined.
It’s a narrow, narrow space. No windows, no doors, so I can’t get in or out. It’s here when I open my eyes and this place when I close my eyes. Can I always be free? There is no answer. Death cannot promise.
I can see the wall in front of me. It’s very close. It’s a wall I don’t want to touch the tip of my nose. Even if you turn your head, even if you look up at the sky, you’ll only see the same color.
An old, shabby wall.
An aging wall.
A wall that stands undamaged. In it, he lives his whole life. You stare at the wall. It starts to move like it’s alive. The walls are buzzing.
You blink. The wall stops moving. You see a small hole. There’s a hole in the wall.
He slowly opened his eyes.
Fooled me.
It was not a hole. Black eyes. Black eyes of crows.
The wall opens.
And…
I saw the fish flesh.
My heart was beating a little faster. He saw the flesh of the fish that had been mechanically dug up. A fish on a plate.
He picks up a piece of white flesh and takes it to his mouth. I felt it.
“Delicious.”
“That’s a relief. ”
I heard his voice.
The roar of the crow follows you like a fox.
“It may be difficult to like yourself. ”
Even though it sounded rather lively, Hyundai replied.
“Don’t hate me enough to want to kill you. ”
Again, my shoulders are lighter. He opened his mouth with a smile. It was to continue the conversation that had been paused.
“Then what’s the second reason? ”
He said there are two reasons. He replied by saying it was no big deal.
“I heard some music on the street that I missed. ”
At that moment, he realized that it wasn’t just music.
“It was music I hadn’t heard in a long time. As soon as I heard, I came back to life as if I’d forgotten. He’s a tough guy. ”
“Human-like music. ”
“I like tricks, too. ”
He saw the status quo. And he said the name of the person he assumed.
“Writer Kang Wool. ”
“That’s right.”
Whitepaper, Im Hyun-do, and Kang Wool were friends who spent young days together. Whitepaper and Kangwol were in love with each other, and Im Hyundo was a friend of the two. Kang Wall left his friend and wife and died first.
Then, what does it have to do with the impulse of Gangnam and Hyundai?
“Putting emotion into a sentence. That’s what he used to do when he was young. ”
In one word, he felt like the story was continuing. Digestion as discussed by Hyundai. It’s like an experienced tone. It wasn’t his story either. Maybe his best friend.
“Kang Wool was just like you. ”
The story of Kangwon writer.
“Digestion. ”
“Yes, that’s what he said. What you do is you digest your emotions. There’s also something about writing that says you can enjoy swallowing and spitting it out. I don’t understand, but you will. ”
“Well, roughly. ”
It can be compared as much as you want. You cannot live without it. Writing is the same for you. If you eat it in a hurry, you will get food poisoning if you act and eat rotten food. You eat food to get better. I have to eat anyway.
In the past, he had a period of time when he had not been able to write. I realized then that breathing isn’t living.
I understand what Hyundai said. At that time, the digestive system stopped moving. Feelings accumulate, but the organs that will digest them are lazy, so there is no way we can live properly.
Eventually, I couldn’t help but pick up the pen again.
Might as well have been a writer.
“So I just imitated it. I wanted to write down the atmosphere that he used to create. It’s an impulse.”
Hyundai took a moment to speak slowly.
“That impulse told me one thing. ”
I asked him what he told me. Hyundai lowered his eyes slightly and said.
“It doesn’t suit me to waste my feelings like that. ”
“Waste?”
“After actually writing it, I had to take a break for a while. I thought you were scraping your emotions until you were begging for it. ”
He knew how empty he felt. It was the sensation that he had held since the beginning of writing. But…
“Isn’t that why you write? ”
“Hmm?”
I asked curiously.
“I feel empty. I feel it, too, but it fills up fast. So you can write. the sense of consumption, if you will. Spending money is fun. ”
“Comparing emotion to money. You’re mature, too. ”
He said with a funny face. Then I thought about something for a moment and opened my mouth calmly.
“Every writer has a different way of writing, so I don’t have to say it. But you can be a little dangerous. ”
“Danger?”
“If your digestive system breaks down, you’ll no longer be able to live. ”
The room suddenly became dark.
“Yes?”
“A man as close to writing as you is a mess. Kang Wool had a hard time, too. ”
“What kind of trouble? ”
For example, and he is a little preoccupied.
“Dyspepsia.”
It was lighter than I thought.
Meet Him (4) End
lim Han-baek