Falling into the Abyss

Ethan first began to suspect Roland two months after the accident.

Except for the first month when he was in the hospital, the next month was like a dream to Ethan. When he got home, Roland would be limping in the kitchen while preparing dinner. Although the food was very simple, it tasted good. Moreover, it was prepared by his sweetheart. He would even eat food made by him that tasted and looked disgusting with relish. In the evening, the two people would watch a movie together, with Roland lying on his lap. From the corner of Ethan’s eye, he would be able to see the other party’s long eyelashes occasionally fluttering. He liked to gently stroke Roland’s brown hair, which was slightly longer than that of other men. He liked to touch Roland’s rough jaw and listen to his steady snores after he fell asleep. Ethan loved all of his small flaws.

Ethan felt that such a life would never be boring.

And then, one day, because he forgot to bring a document, Ethan turned back around on the way to work. Instead of texting Roland, he went home and opened the door.

However, after opening the door, he did not see Roland, who was supposed to still be downstairs drinking coffee and watching the news. He called out, “Roland?”

Roland’s voice came from his study, “I’m here.”

Ethan frowned slightly. The door to his study had always been closed, and he also set a password lock. He left home only half an hour ago, so how did Roland get in?

When he approached the door of his study, Roland had just walked out. He was all smiles, asking, “Did you forget something?”

Ethan asked, “Why are you here?”

Roland shrugged, a little embarrassed. He said, “I saw that you didn’t lock the door of the study, so I wanted to go in and see what you had hidden inside. It’s so mysterious since it’s locked all day long. In the end, I was caught red-handed by you.”

Ethan raised his eyebrows. “I didn’t lock it?”

“You didn’t. There was a gap.”

Ethan looked at his natural expression. He didn’t seem to be lying.

Ethan nodded, went into the room to get the papers, and in the passing, examined everything on his desk. He always placed things in a fixed position and put a hair or a scrap of paper in some casual places. In this way, he would know if someone moved his things.

However, everything was in place. He did not keep any important confidential documents at home, other than when he took the Project Zero documents home, which had already been deleted. He thought he might have been a little too suspicious.

After that, Ethan changed the door’s password and all of the encryption passwords on the computer. He was careful to lock the door of his study before going out and going to bed every day.

When Ethan heard the news, he felt a chill seep into his heart and lungs. He immediately remembered the situation when Roland came out of his study.

However, he didn’t want to believe this guess and doubted whether he was too suspicious. After work, Roland was still waiting for him next to his aircraft and told him an interesting story about a wonderful researcher in the laboratory. Ethan casually watched Roland when he wasn’t aware of it. He watched him make coffee, wash dishes in the sink, and listened to him sing as he bathed in the bathroom, but he didn’t find anything suspicious. He only saw the man he loved.

However, when two of the intelligence agency’s investigators secretly summoned him to a separate room to check the number of times his ID was used to authorize entrance to Project Zero’s intranet, he could no longer deceive himself. He did not know when Roland obtained his encrypted identity information. He also did not know when Roland was able to access the intranet. The IP address had obviously been modified and did not provide any additional information. He thought of his study room and imagined how after he fell asleep, the man would quietly get up, transfer his fingerprints with a piece of glass, and enter the study to turn on his computer……

For many days and nights, when he thought he was sleeping with his lover, the man next to him was always against him. Thinking of this, he felt as if his entire body had fallen into an ice cave. He looked at the time that he could not have accessed the intranet at all and tried to control his facial expression as he nodded with a smile. “Yes, I did login at these times.”

On the way home, he couldn’t understand why he was lying, why he was helping a spy, and why he didn’t tell them to arrest him immediately. However, he understood that the lie he had just told was enough to ruin his reputation.

Perhaps he was still holding on to a last glimmer of hope. Maybe he wanted to listen to that person explain to him, and tell him that everything was done without malice.

Roland was not at home, so Ethan rushed to the residence that the Energy Bureau had arranged for the Third Empire’s researchers. There was no sign of him, and his colleagues said he had never returned. Ethan’s heart sank, and he felt suffocated and dizzy. But he couldn’t stop now. He had to find Roland.

Since he had learned about it, it was likely that Roland had heard the news and withdrawn from the Earth Union.

Unable to find him, Ethan could only dejectedly return home. When he opened the door, he discovered Roland was sitting on the sofa, looking at him without saying a word.

Ethan walked forward a few steps. Just as he wanted to let the intelligent housekeeper turn on the lighting system, he heard Roland say, “Don’t turn on the lights.”

Neon lights entered through the window from outside the apartment building, illuminating the Alpha’s side profile. His eyebrows were still handsome, but he wasn’t smiling. His blue pupils were dyed a deep purple by the light. They appeared too deep now, so deep that no one would be able to see through them.

Ethan’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. He did not know where to start, and he was afraid to hear the answer.

“I’m leaving,” Roland took the initiative to say.

Ethan felt his heart wrench violently, and there was a dull pain in his chest. He asked in a slightly trembling voice, “So……you approaching me was all just a plan?”

Roland looked at him and nodded his head slowly.

Ethan clenched his teeth and spat out word by word, “Why me!”

“Because you were the most suitable.” Roland’s voice is still so charming, but he uttered the most hurtful words, “You handle all of the Energy Bureau’s important information, which made you one of the primary targets for my plan. After surveying a couple of times, I found that you were the easiest breakthrough point.”

“……Easy?”

“First of all, your family seems to be perfect, but in fact, your mother is focused on her music theory research and her career advocating for equal rights and sometimes ignores you. On the other hand, your father is very rigid and strict, but you highly respect him. You have made a series of important life decisions from childhood to adulthood, including university and job choices, according to the path set for you by your father. You are obviously trying to please him and want to obtain his acknowledgment in exchange for the warmth you lacked in your childhood. Although you do things conscientiously and nimbly, in terms of relationships, you are very simple. Your first boyfriend was an Omega, but you broke up in less than a year. The second was a Beta, which also didn’t last long, and they were years apart. It seems that you didn’t take the initiative to break up with them these two times, and your cold and passive attitude was the main reason why the other party broke up with you. In other words, you forced them to break up with you.

For someone of your age to have such little emotional experience and to have no more than three one-night stands during the few years you were single, it could be seen that you are either sexually apathetic, or Omegas and Beta can’t satisfy you. You yearn for an Alpha as powerful as your father, and you hope the other party can give you the warmth that your father couldn’t give you, but you are a Beta that can’t attract that kind of Alpha. You merely appear prim and proper, but in fact, you don’t have a sense of security. Your self-esteem is low, so as long as I gave you what you want, you would be full of points for me to breakthrough.”

Ethan felt his eyes burn, but he tried to keep his tears from falling. Those words were like sharpened knives, stabbing into his already numb chest.

He would rather Roland have disappeared, so he could at least deceive himself that perhaps the other party was slightly sincere.

Roland stood up and approached him step by step. Ethan, however, unconsciously retreated, like a prey pushed into a corner by a hunter.

“What are you going to do now?” Ethan felt so stupid. Why did he lie for his sake? Why didn’t he send someone to investigate Roland when he noticed something was strange?

What that man had said was flawless.

“Ethan, what I said was just what I thought at first. But after spending some days with you, I am not completely unfeeling towards you. I told you, I like your eyes. I like the way you push your glasses up when you’re nervous and how you try to act calm when you’re embarrassed. Those words were true.” Roland’s deep gaze wrapped around him like a heavy curtain, leaving him nowhere to escape. “I’m here to take you away.”

Ethan laughed. “Do you think I’m stupid to that extent? Leave with you? Wouldn’t you wipe me out?”

“No! Ethan, maybe I schemed against you at the beginning. That was my duty, and I had to do it. But now, I can’t bear to leave you here!” At this moment, Roland appeared so focused that it was horrifying. However, the uncertain lighting and shadows made Ethan unable to see through him even more. “If you don’t go with me, then you will be regarded as my partner-in-crime. Even if you find a way to prove that you were not aware, they will still deduct more than half of your moral value. At that time, do you think you can make a living? Even if you don’t get stripped of your moral value and thrown into the Forbidden City, you will only be able to do the dirtiest and most dangerous jobs from now on. In such a place where there is no freedom to speak of, what will you miss? Come back with me to Ophiuchus Alliance, or even the Third Empire. I’ll take you to see the places and scenery you’ve always wanted to see, to the distant planets you’ve always wanted to visit!”

Ethan knew that what Roland was saying was extremely terrifying, but true. Even if he could find a way to clarify his relationship with Roland, the lie he told today was enough to make him lose everything.

After Ethan remained silent, Roland seemed to think that the other party was moved. He stepped forward and gently hugged Ethan’s body, and Ethan didn’t resist.

“I really like you, so come with me…” Before he could finish his words, his body slightly stiffened.

Ethan had pressed a small handgun against his abdomen. In Roland’s embrace, he raised his cold, sad eyes.

“Hahaha, even if you think I’m an easy target, do you also think I’m a fool?” Ethan tried to speak in a cold voice, but his voice was unsteady. He wasn’t able to learn from how cruel Roland was, and he even sounded a little pathetic. “Take me with you? You’re just afraid that I’ll report you before you can escape from the Earth Union and that you won’t be able to cross the border?”

“Ethan, I really want to take you away! You will only face a dead end if you stay here!”

“And who caused that!!!” Ethan yelled, his gaze filled with heartbreak. He finally liked a man so much and waited for the moment when they were both in love with each other. He had dreamed of spending his life with him. Why was it all a sham? Why did it have to be him? Ethan laughed again, his expression a little twisted and desperate. “I recorded what you said with my pocket capsule. I’ll kill you first and hand in the recording!”

He should have pulled the trigger at this time, but he hesitated for a moment. After all, he had never killed anyone, let alone the man he liked so much. Such a moment was enough for Roland. Ethan felt a sharp pain travel from his wrist and knew that his wrist bone had been broken. His fingers lost their strength, and he released the handgun, and it fell to the ground. He then felt a kick to his stomach, as well as his temples. After experiencing two attacks in succession, he was paralyzed by pain, his eye blackened, and his abdomen and wrist were aching. He endured the pain and turned over, but Roland had picked up the small handgun and pointed it at him. In his down-facing gaze, there was no warmth.

Look, it was another skill that he didn’t know Roland possessed.

He suddenly hallucinated, maybe in this world, there were two Rolands. His Roland was not such an emotionless man.

The warmth in Roland’s eyes disappeared, replaced by a strange indifference. He sighed and said, “You were given a chance to live, but you didn’t want it.”

Ethan stared at him with a gaze full of hatred, and he wished that his eyes could turn into swords to cut the man in front of him. He felt that everything was so illusionary in front of the black muzzle, as though he were not facing death. The pain in his heart was colder than death, which temporarily deprived him of the feeling of fear.

“Goodbye, darling,” Roland said, raising the gun.

Ethan closed his eyes reflexively, waiting for the momentary pain when a bullet would pass through his head. However, what he actually felt was his carotid artery being hit hard, and the darkness quickly swallowed him up.

This was his last meeting with Roland.

The author has something to say:

My God, even the handgun is a sensitive word_(:з)∠)_