Dungeons Are Bad Business

The office was in surprisingly decent condition when Vee and Alforde reached it. Other than a dozen or so muddy footprints and a bit of broken glass on the floor next to the window, it seemed relatively undisturbed. The chairs weren’t knocked over and the console for running the dungeon hadn’t been touched. Had it not been for Dheart’s incessant wailing and the fact that the vault was still partially open, Vee wouldn’t have really known that anything was amiss.

There was a letter on the desk, presumably left by the thief, and Vee picked it up to read it.

In a surprisingly tidy hand, it said, “Nothing personal.”

Vee’s mouth went dry as he set down the letter, walked over to the vault, and peeked through the gap to take a look inside. Other than a few scattered fleurs and bits of mud, it was empty inside, which confirmed the [Dungeon Master]’s worst fears. Losing the shards of chaos wasn’t too big of a deal, as Crestheart would naturally regain them as it operated without much issue, but the stolen fleurs hurt a lot. First there’d been all the costs that the dungeon had racked up recently – the new minions, the storymaker contribution and the bounty for the quest to get Reginald’s levels back among them – but there was also the need to keep paying Sacre back.

“How are we going to make our next payment?” Vee said as he stared at the bare floor, because, of course, tomorrow was collection day. The [Dungeon Master] felt sick to his stomach, dreading the sight of Walnut’s inevitably smug expression when Vee said that he didn’t have the money.

“Unsanctioned vault entry! Unsanctioned vault entry! Unsanctioned vault entry!”

Vee turned to face Dheart, frowning. That needed to stop right away. The [Dungeon Master]’s racing mind told him quite clearly that he needed to be able to hear himself think if he was going to figure out a way to navigate this crappy situation.

Speaking with as much authority as he could, Vee said, “That’s enough, Dheart. I understand the situation, so stop with the screeching.”

The dungeon heart fell silent, acknowledging Vee’s order, and the [Dungeon Master] set down his [Majordomo] on the table so that he could run his fingers through his hair and get his thoughts properly ordered.

Reginald looked up at him. “What’s the plan, boss?”

Vee mulled it over for a moment, then said, “For the moment, we have no choice but to accept the fact that the stolen fleurs are gone forever. We lack the resources to track them down and recover them, so there’s no point in thinking about methods for doing so. Instead, we need to come up with some short term funding solutions that will let us cobble together enough fleurs to keep Sacre off our back so that we can keep Crestheart running as best we can. Once those are taken care of, we think about ways to make sure that we have enough fleurs to pay the rest of our obligations. To be completely honest, I’m not entirely sure how we do that right now, but I’m percolating. I’m not going to let this take us down.”

[Determination +1]

“That’s good,” Reginald said. “Next question. Do we open the dungeon today?”

Vee looked over at Alforde, who was inside the vault picking up the scattered silver fleurs and stacking them in his gauntlet. “I think we do, yeah. What do you say, Alforde?”

“I’ve got no problems with that,” his friend answered as he squatted down to scoop up another coin. “But I have an idea for helping us get some money too. Want to hear it?”

“Of course. What are you thinking?”

Alforde stood back up and turned around, his bright blue eyes flickering like a brazier. “We should tell the adventurers what happened. Explain that we were robbed and ask for help. Maybe some of them would be willing to chip in a few extra fleurs here and there to help us meet our funding needs for the time being. We could even offer some type of bonus to anyone who donates.”

“Bonuses?”

“Yeah, like, uh, one on ones with me, or a detailed analysis of their strengths and weaknesses as we perceive them. I’m sure a lot of the mid-level regulars would love to get their hands on something like that.”

Vee smiled. It was a good idea, and his [Budgeting] skill was already starting to rough out appropriate prices for such things. The private bouts with Alforde were worth at least twenty silver fleurs on their own, and the adventurer assessments could probably fetch nearly that much as well.

Would that be enough, though? They needed to come up with sixty five gold fleurs, and Vee doubted that enough adventurers would chip in to help bridge that gap. What else could they do to raise more emergency funds?

What about offering bundled packages of future run vouchers for a discount? If someone wanted to buy, say, ten future runs, they could do so and receive a twenty or thirty percent discount. Vee’s skull itched. Hmm. Maybe the numbers needed a bit more tweaking.

He checked the time and saw that the day’s runs were slated to begin soon. Frowning, Vee snapped his fingers and activated [Excellent Spreadsheet]. Cecil appeared in the air by Vee’s right hand. “How may I be of assistance, Master?”

Vee directed his spreadsheet to work on figuring out the appropriate discount rate for future dungeon runs, trusting that Cecil would be able to do so better than he would be able to just then. The spreadsheet hummed as Vee headed down to the dungeon to get ready for the day’s runs. As much as he would have liked to just focus on everything else, there were a few last practical considerations he had to see to.

Do and the rest of the [Dungeon Maintainers] were waiting just inside the entrance to Crestheart. They’d put on the brightly colored ectoplasmic vests that Vee had made for them the night before, and the [Dungeon Master] had to suppress a chuckle at how silly all of his minions looked. Still, he hoped that they would keep his [Dungeon Maintainers] safe as they manually worked portions of the dungeon that Reginald’s core was currently unable to power.

“Are you all sure you’re comfortable with this?” Vee asked. “I’m going to brief the adventurers that you’ll be in the dungeon today so none of them should attack you directly, but there’s a chance that you’ll be caught up in area-of-effect skills and injured.”

“We do not fear such things,” Do said. “It is your will that we assist with the dungeon, and we will do our duty.”

Vee looked at the rest of his medium section, trying to see if any of their faces betrayed a different feeling, but nearly all of their expressions were inscrutable. He waited for a moment to give any who might choose to do so an opportunity to speak up, but none of them did.

“Alright, we’re going to go ahead and get going for the day then,” Vee said. “Should any of you change your minds about your willingness to participate in the mechanical workings of the dungeon today, let me know and I’ll shuffle things around so you don’t have to. No need to feel guilty about it either; I value all of you more than the doors and walls that you’ll be handling.”

[Leadership +1]

Taking a deep breath, Vee checked Cecil’s calculations and assessments before he headed outside. It was sunny and slightly warm as Vee climbed the steps in front of the dungeon so that he could address the crowd of adventurers.

He held up his hands and waited for their conversation to slowly quiet down before he spoke.

“Good morning, adventurers! As always, thank you so much for choosing to come and challenge Crestheart, we appreciate your business! However, as you have might have gathered by my presence here today, there are a few things we need to take care of before we start the day’s runs.”

There was a murmur of discontent at that, and Vee saw that several of the adventurers were looking at him with wary expressions. Doing his best to keep his expression neutral, Vee continued.

“First of all, there’s been a technical problem with the dungeon’s core, and as a result, some of the features you’re familiar with are currently disabled. While we’ve preserved most room functionality, our doors and walls aren’t working properly. We have a temporary solution for this, but it’s going to require you all to be a bit more careful than normal during your runs. Allow me to explain.”

He held up another one of his ectoplasmic vests and made sure that everyone could see it. “If you see a fiend wearing one of these in the dungeon, you are not to attack or injure them in any way. They are my direct underlings and they’re going to be the ones making sure that you all can go from one room to the next. Whether intentional or not, any adventurers who violate this condition will have their run for the day immediately ended and be banned from Crestheart for a period of time commensurate to the damage done to my minions. Needless to say, killing any of my fiends will result in a permanent ban from the dungeon, not to mention incur other penalties. I thank you all in advance for your understanding and cooperation.”

A few of the adventurers bristled at that, and Vee heard more than a few muttering about how limiting their attacks to avoid hitting the orchestra members was unfair, but Vee didn’t give them any time to build up a protest. He pressed on instead.

“Beyond that, there’s another matter I have to bring to your attention. I regret to inform you that someone broke into Crestheart last night and raided the vault. As a direct result, we’re currently short on funds to continue our normal operations, and so I’m asking you all for help. It pains me to do this, but if you get value from Crestheart, I ask that you consider donating some amount of fleurs to help us through this rough patch. While I can’t go into details about all of our expenses, we need to raise roughly a hundred gold fleurs as quickly as possible. Obviously, direct donations are accepted and appreciated, but if you’re interested in getting something back for your money, we will also be selling discounted packs of future runs by the end of the day.”

“How many runs? What sort of discount?” a voice shouted.

Vee summoned Cecil once more just to make sure that he had all the numbers right. “We are offering packs of three, five, ten, and twenty or more future runs. The discount starts at five percent and goes all the way up to thirty percent. If you’re interested, come up to the office after you finish up inside the dungeon and we’ll work out the details.”

“There are also other products you can buy,” Reginald added. “Including one on one training bouts with Alforde and performance assessments with Vee and myself. The prices for those are still being figured out, but we’ll have those settled by the end of business today as well. Tell any other adventurers you might know who didn’t happen to sign up for runs today, alright? There’s no limit on any of these deals except time. We need the money today, so don’t miss out! This is an incredible opportunity!”

Relieved at the interested expressions on several of the adventurer’s faces, Vee climbed down the steps and headed back up to the office.

It was going to be a long day.

Looking up at the sky, Vee took a deep breath and said, “This is a start, but today would be a great time for something big to go my way.”

To his surprise, his quiet plea was answered with a resounding ding in the back of his skull. The Expectation around his shoulders coiled tighter, and a shiver traveled from the top of Vee’s head to the bottom of his feet. It carried a crackling energy the [Ghost Maestro] wasn’t familiar with, feeling sickly sweet as well as oddly…old.

It vanished almost as quickly as it came, leaving the [Dungeon Master] with naught but a lingering sense of peculiarity and hearing the faint echo of rattling laughter.

Main Character Sheets:

Vee Vales

Primary Class: Ghost Maestro (Locksmagister University), Level 30

Secondary Class: Dungeon Master (Oar’s Crest), Level 21

Tertiary Class: Guy-Who-Takes-Things-WAY-Too-Far (Self), Level 6

Might: 14

Wit: 35

Faith: 21

Adventurousness: 7

Ambition: 14

Plotting: 20

Charisma: 15

Devious Mind: 24

Leadership: 19 (+1)

Guts: 14

Intimidating Presence: 10

Citizenship: 21

Public Relations: 8

Determination: 3 (+1)

Persuasiveness: 3

Bargaining: 1

Patience: 1

Competitive Spirit: 1

<3***Infatuation***<3

Alforde Armorsoul:

Primary Class: Hammer Afficionado (Self), Level 26

Secondary Class: Right-hand man (Vee Vales), Level 15 (+1)

Tertiary Class: Dungeon Champion (Oar’s Crest), Level 16

Additional Class: Glaciernaut (Sacha Silverblade), Level 9

Might: 48

Wit: 14 (+1)

Faith: 28

Adventurousness (Bound – Vee Vales): 9

Endurance: 26

Intimidating Presence: 12

Heart of a Champion: 11

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 8

Vigilance: 7

Vanity: 1

Reginald:

Primary Class: Core Spirit (Unknown), Level ??

--~%@(%$@ &% (*$ #&#e !i$$ (#$%#$%#$@!)~--, #$v@& ????

Secondary Class: Loudmouth (Self), Level 40

Tertiary Class: Majordomo (Vee Vales), Level 18 (+1)

Additional Class: Announcer (Vee Vales), Level 8

Might: 1

Wit: 33

Faith: 15

Ambition: 27

Greed: 23

Deceptiveness: 27

Manipulativeness: 39 (+1)

$#&*!@!!: !!!

Loyalty: 47

Patience: 9

Irritability: 22

Remorsefulness: 17 (+1)

[#&%%%@%!#@__--#%]

Hop@#!! @#$@!@#

@#$@%%^

#4^5#*&_!+++#(@$#

Citizenship (Bound – Vee Vales): 8