Dial H for Heroics

Jack greeted his passengers when they came up to the bridge. They had cleaned up

and got new clothes. The manual controls were still on lockdown so he wasn’t afraid

of them crashing the Enterprise into the goblin warrens below. He should have asked

them their names, but decided that since he was putting them down on the ground in

a few minutes to an hour, he didn’t need to know them that badly.

“What’s going on?,” asked burn man. He gestured at the screen taking up the wall.

“We’re waiting,” said Jack. “Mister Warner went down and lit up the signal fire. He

said someone should be watching and would start spreading the word. He doesn’t

expect any of them to show up before night fall because they are sensitive to sunlight.

That reminds me, I have to call my beloved. Hold on.”

“Enterprise, ping goblins, and call Elaine,” said Jack.

“Affirmative,” said the machine.

“This is a strange bird,” said Yoff’s girl.

“It’s not real,” said Jack.

“It looks real,” said the bitter woman. She tried to touch the bird. It made an angry

noise and hopped away in the chair.

“Jack?,” said Elaine.

“Hi, hon,” said Jack. “I’m going to be held up some time on this job. I’m waiting on

some goblins to talk to Mister Warner. I have a bunch of refugees that I am going to

help regain as soon as Mister Warner decides what he wants to do. It looks like we

might be out here the night, maybe part of tomorrow.”

“Who’s Elaine?,” said Yoff’s girl.

“She is the best, smartest, most beautiful woman I have ever met,” said Jack. “She is

my beloved.”

“Must be blind,” said the bitter woman.

“But not deaf,” said Elaine. “We almost have the hospital set up here. We are going

to try to give it a trial run tonight. The Amazons and Madam Harp are working on

their wants right now.”

“Good,” said Jack. “Still need a gate?”

“Yes,” said Elaine. “The new facility is halfway across the city. A gate would make

travel easier for the people working at the hospital to get back and forth from the

House. As soon as we have everything worked out, we’re going to have to an

emergency cure and hope we don’t kill the patient. After that, we will have to go

home and shore up our reserves.”

“June?,” asked Jack.

“None of the girls have called us, so we are assuming they are still alive and haven’t

had any problems,” said Elaine. “I will check in with Beatrice as soon as we are done

talking.”

“What are all these red marks on the window,” asked the slim man. He had brought

part of his food on the bridge and was pointing at the red diamonds starting to gather

together around the rally point.

“Goblins,” said Jack. “Enterprise, shoot on stun if they try to take Mister Warner. I

am not explaining any problem he might have to Josie.”

“Affirmative,” agreed the machine.

“Each of these marks is a goblin?,” said the burned man.

“Yes,” said Jack. “I thought that only a few would show up to talk.”

“Do I have to come out there?,” asked Josie over Elaine’s line.

“No,” said Jack. “We’ll handle it.”

“Remember no nuking,” said Josie.

“Yes, Mom,” said Jack. The crowd on the bridge gave him a look. “I promised that

I wouldn’t. I do wonder about the many Elaines idea.”

“One of me is enough until you build up your stamina,” said Elaine.

“I will work on that,” said Jack. He looked at the passengers. The varying expressions

told him that his face showed his embarrassment. “I’ll see you when I get home.

Everybody say goodbye Elaine.”

“Goodbye, Elaine,” said the small mob.

Enterprise cut the call. Jack resettled in his chair. He shook his head.

“Do you think your Warner can handle all these goblins?,” asked the burned man. He

tried to see if there were more pings to either side of the screen. It was a window so

he should be able to see more of the view.

“We’ll see,” said Jack. “Enterprise, shift view and give us more of an expanded look.

Let’s see how many goblins we can pick up.”

“Affirmative,” said the machine.

The view pulled back so that they had a great view of the boundless forest leading

toward the southern coast. The Picket, manned by human soldiers, ran across the top

part of the screen. Red diamonds marked every goblin the Enterprise could pick up

from the air. The vast majority were staying in place, but more than a few had been

alerted to the parley smoke and had started toward the point.

Jack wondered what Mister Warner could say in the face of this number of innocent

bystanders. Sorry, a very bad few have made it where I have to burn innocent people

to prevent a war. I need volunteers to put their neck on the block.

He wondered if Mister Warner had a version of Josie’s birds. That would make it

easier to find the real culprits within the mass circling the hill of flowers. Then he

could just pluck them out with fire.

That would make things easier for everyone involved.

Some of the diamonds broke off and rode out to meet Mister Warner. They went to

the separate banners that were marked for their clans. Mister Warner waited patiently

for someone to make the first move.

Jack had his eyes on a small pack of diamonds off to one side of the proceeding. They

seemed to be ready to rush the hill. He didn’t like their positioning drawing them

closer to Mister Warner.

He decided that if had to make an example of someone today, it would be that crowd.

“Can we hear what’s going on?,” asked the burned man.

“Enterprise, open the mike so we can listen,” said Jack. He leaned back in his chair.

He might have to get down there fast. He wondered what he had to use to teleport

other than the transporter’s beam, or Magik’s stargates. “Lock on to that crowd

separated to the southwest of Mister Warner. They seem to be holding back too much

compared to the rest.”

“Affirmative.” said the machine. A targeting reticle appeared on the crowd of

diamonds standing alone.

Maybe they were the big cheeses and didn’t want to mix with the riffraff. Maybe

they were thinking about setting up an ambush on neutral ground. Maybe they were

waiting to see what was going to happen.

If they did anything Jack didn’t like, he planned to give them an explosive retaliation.

“Greetings, Au Kineth of the Blade Hands, Au Ben of the Night Claws, and Au

Stinek of the Sparkling Rose,” said Warner. He stood casually beside the fire

pit throwing green smoke in the air.

“Greetings, clanless human,” said rumbling bass. “I see that you have summoned us

from inside our territories which is forbidden to humans by treaty. Why should we not

judge you, and judge accordingly?”

“Two reasons,” said Mister Warner. He held up his hand. “An outbranch of one of

your tribes destroyed three human villages, ate the humans and their animals, and

imprisoned the survivors to be eaten later.”

A stir went through the mob. The clan by itself looked displeased by what was being

said. The scanners revealed they seemed to be readying weapons.

“That is troubling if true,” said the bass. “What is the other reason for us to hold our

hands against you?”

“My friend is the new appointee for the Faceless,” said Mister Warner. “I’m trying

to show him how to negotiate peacefully without killing everything he sees. He still

has problems with that.”

Jack pulled out his phone. He knew he should have given Mister Warner a com band

despite what the old man said. He put down the phone long enough to change into

Magik and tell it to dial Mister Warner’s phone. He nodded when the other man

started playing Holding Out for a Hero with a Bonnie Tyler mouse voice.

“Excuse me,” said Mister Warner. He pulled out his phone and flipped the top open.

“Yes?”

“There is a crew arming up southwest of you,” said Jack. “Tell your guys not to run.”

“Are you sure?,” asked Mister Warner. He turned to look at the variety of trees

beyond the flags and flowers. “They aren’t in the talking ring.”

“So they aren’t there to parley,” said Jack. “I’m shooting some phasers down in there

to see what I can flush out. Tell the bigwogs what’s going to happen so they don’t

think I will start shooting at them next.”

“All right,” said Mister Warner. “Grand Chiefs, do any of you have anyone in those

trees over there?”

He just nodded while holding the phone to his ear. He didn’t want to give the whole

game away by pointing.

“No,” said the bass. “The members of the clan I brought are in the flowers.”

“I think all of our people are in plain view,” said one of the others, a moving of

musical notes on the wind.

“Enterprise, shoot phasers on stun into that stand,” said Jack. “Let’s see if they run.”

“Affirmative,” said the machine. Pulses of energy blasted into that stand. The crowd

on the bridge watched as some of the bodies were shocked into flight by the

transferred energy. Some ran as the ship blew away their cover.

Soldiers from the parley party gave chase to the shocked ambushers clearing the trees.

Their monstrous beetle steeds covered ground as fast as any horse.

“I didn’t kill the ones in the trees,” said Jack. “They’re down so they can be picked

up until they wake up and slink away if no one does anything.”

“Got it,” said Mister Warner.

“We’re watching this,” said Jack. “It could be torpedoes the next time I shoot.”

“Just don’t shoot me,” said Mister Warner. He closed his phone and put it away.

“There are some more in the trees. My associate said they should be alive but

sleeping.”

One of the chiefs waved at one of his men and directed him into the trees. A group

broke off and rode over to round up their prisoners.

Jack let Magik slip away, and put his phone up. He nodded as the ambush group was

rounded up and dragged to the parley point.

“Why didn’t you kill them?,” asked the bitter woman.

“Never confuse kindness for mercy,” said Jack. He frowned at the screen.

“I don’t understand,” said the bitter woman.

“What do you think is going to happen to a group of goblins who stood outside of

neutral ground with weapons drawn while the big chiefs of their clans were talking

over something?,” said the slim man. “We’re talking about an act of war among the

clans.”

“We’re talking about an annihilation of the clan in question by the other clans,” said

the burned man.

“Nil Comer,” said the bass. “I recognize you. You are supposed to be on the coast,

exiled from the hunting grounds.”

“This one went to the Island,” said the musical note. “I see someone brought you

back.”

“We demand a right to parley,” said one of the captives.

“I would like to ask three questions first,” said Mister Warner. “Then we will barter.”

“Do you think you have the right to that?,” said the bass.

“I am the aggrieved party, and a former champion of the Faceless,” said Mister

Warner. “I am ready to enforce my right in the here and now, with the force of arms

of my army. I am not here to declare open warfare which the Nation would lose. I am

here to make sure criminals are punished and good will is kept. Three villages above

the picket line were attacked and destroyed. They ate a cub’s pet in front of her. I will

see something out of this, one way or the other.”

“He is right,” said a voice that seemed lighter than the other two with a burr of motion

in the sound. “Who wants to beg at the picket line to the humans to repay what is

owed?”

The other two chiefs were silent, but Jack nodded at their agreement to the words of

the third chief.

“Where can I find the Iron Teeth Clan?,” asked Mister Warner. “Is the chief an orc?

How did you dig under the picket line?”

“I would suggest you answer the questions,” said the third chief. “This human might

be merciful and spare you. That is something for you to barter for if you answer with

the truth.”

“I won’t betray my clan,” said the unnamed goblin.

“We have nothing to say, or to barter,” said Nil Comer. “I would like to go back to

my exile.”

“There is no exile for you, Nil Comer,” said the bass. “To come back to the hunting

grounds, and try to attack a parley in progress, you know better than that.”

Mister Warner changed into a younger version of himself in a tuxedo and mustache.

He let his cape settle around him.

“I repeat my three questions and you will answer truthfully with as much knowledge

of the subject as you can,” said Mister Warner. “Where can I find the Iron Teeth

Clan? Is the chief an orc? How did you dig under the picket line?”

“There is no place to find the clan because we wander around,” said Nil Comer. “The

orcs are a branch of our chief’s sister line. I don’t know where. We found a route

under the picket and began hunting there. The clan might be there now.”

“They might be there now,” said Mister Warner. He let the persona go.

“What do you wish for your barter?,” asked the third chief.

“This clan is trying to draw the Nation into war,” said Mister Warner. “I am going to

try to stop it. I would like for you to help me on this end of things.”

“We will spread the word that the Iron Teeth should be hunted,” said the bass.

“I will hunt them on the other side of the picket line,” said Mister Warner. He

changed into a phantom and flew up to the Enterprise. He let the persona go when he

arrived on the bridge. “We have to go.”

“Take us north, Enterprise,” said Jack. “Let’s see if we can find our villains.”