Dial H for Heroics

Jack watched as Angelica worked the fish with a knife she had borrowed from Budd.

She expertly cut the heads, and tails, off before slicing the fish open to take out the

organs and spines. She worked fast as she prepared the fish to be put on stakes.

The rest of the group had gathered around a firepit Beatrice had dug up with Alladin.

They readied the stakes for the fish to be cooked over the fire.

“You used to do this in the Army?,” asked Angelica. She paused as she gauged where

she should cut the carcasses so they would be presentable and even for the group to

cook and eat.

“We used to eat ours raw,” said Jack. He grinned at her expression. “It toughens you

up.”

“It will kill you,” said Angelica. “There are things that live in fish that have to be

cooked away.”

“I don’t think our training officer cared about that,” said Jack.

“Then he is an idiot,” said Angelica. She sliced the fish into strips for the stakes. She

had to use a rock for a cutting block, but things had turned out all right from where

she sat.

The real test would be the cooking part.

“What do you think, Angie?,” asked Jack.

“I would like it a lot better if we had thought to bring something to cook with the

fish,” said Angelica. “Some kind of vegetables. Maybe we could have put on a stew.

This will do for a small dinner until we get home.”

“All right,” said Jack. “You’re the chef here. Maybe we can stop and pick up

something from a place on the way home. Bea and Caroline are going out with their

beaus. So that will be five less to feed in my opinion.”

“The Missus?,” asked Angelica.

“Either she meets them at the theater thinking all of you will be there, or she tries to

wring my neck like a chicken’s,” said Jack. He grinned at her. “Even odds on that

bet.”

“She can do both,” said Angelica. She shook the knife’s point at him. “You shouldn’t

be so cavalier with your friend’s feelings. It will bite you one day.”

“Josie has been my friend for so long she probably already expects some kind of

swerve,” said Jack. “I don’t think the band thing went the way she wanted it to, so

maybe I should have asked to be stationed closer so she had help. I think most of

these missions and meeting you girls has been a big mental help to her.”

“What about you?,” asked Angelica. She gestured for him to pick up the rock.

“I don’t need a therapist,” said Jack. He picked up the rock with a grunt, put it down,

and called for his green monster bum to help him carry the rock closer to the fire.

“You didn’t warn me about how heavy this would be.”

“I thought you would know,” said Angelica.

“I see someone has been working on their prank playing skills,” said Jack. He set the

rock down.

“You can’t be the only scary one in our family,” said Angelica.

“Do you think so?,” asked Jack. He let the persona go.

“It’s obvious that you have adopted the Missus, and it’s what June declared while she

was here,” said Angelica. “Therefore you and June are our cousins, as well as Elaine

if you marry her like you said.”

“How does that work?,” asked Jack.

“It’s what the law says,” said Angelica. “I asked Matilda to look it up for me.”

“That’s something that I would never consider you doing,” said Jack.

“I’m more than just a pretty face and a recipe book,” said Angelica.

“I’ll take your word for that,” said Jack.

Angelica took the prepared stakes and mounted the fish strips. She placed each stake

in the ground next to the firepit. She hummed to herself as she watched the meat

cook.

“We should have prepared for camping out,” said Angelica. She used the knife to

poke some of the fish strips that didn’t seem to be cooking equally. “Still, we should

have these to snack on, and then we can ready to go home.”

“We should go out too,” said Melanie. “Beatrice is going out with her beloved. We

should take the time to wander around and look for a festival, or something.”

“Are there any festivals now?,” asked Jack.

“Not festivals,” said Elaine. “But there are traveling shows that occasionally set up

near one of the gates to perform for money.”

“And you want to go to one of these carnivals, Mel?,” asked Jack.

“I think Alicia can win us all the food we can stand to eat with her bow skills,” said

the middle girl.

“You think Al can hustle grown men who have been using their weapon of choice all

their lives?,” asked Jack. The group gave him a shaky uncoordinated affirmative.

“I can shoot anything now,” said Alicia. “I can feel it in my bones.”

“And you want to use that to cheat?,” asked Jack.

“Would it be cheating?,” asked Melanie.

“I am going to say yes just to avoid having to explain to Josie why five of her sisters

decided they had to use the skills I gave them to protect the city, the duchy, the

kingdom, the continent, the world to cheat like old west cardsharps,” said Jack. “You

all know better, and I am appalled at what I have done.”

“Being able to fly doesn’t mean I was going to cheat,” said Laura. “I know better.”

“Thank you, Laura,” said Jack. “That makes me feel so much better.”

“Still, it would be nice to play some games, and maybe look at the acts,” said Laura.

“I think there is some highwire acts around that are pretty daring.”

“And we have to go back to work tomorrow,” said Matilda. She put on some puppy

dog eyes to rival Tiny Tim. “Please, Milord. Please see if there is a show you can take

us to before you make us work like slaves.”

“That approach might work on Aviras and Josie, but I sold my heart for a carrot and

sunglasses,” said Jack.

“Sunglasses?,” said Matilda.

“That cheap?,” said Laura.

“Now, we shall eat and disperse,” said Jack. “Our couples and their watchdog are

going to want to change clothes and get ready to go. We could see if there is

something in town that appeals to the younger part of the flock as long as you don’t

cheat. Bea, take the guys by the hospital if Josie rips their ears off. I think the elixir

I put together will grow them back to their skulls if you can do it while the wound

is fresh.”

“What if we don’t make it in time?,” asked Case.

“Then you are going to have a hard time keeping a hat on straight, aren’t you?,” said

Jack.

“I will still take you if you lose one ear,” said Caroline. “It will make you look like

a veteran survivor of a monster attack.”

“He’ll certainly be that,” said Melanie.

Alicia made a pulling motion on her ear with one hand.

“What do you think about the fish, Angie?,” asked Jack.

“It’s still not hot enough,” said Angelica. “We need this fire to be a little hotter.”

“That’s something I can take care of at least,” said Jack. He dialed on the Human

Torch. Flame poured on the fish sticks until Angelica held up her hand. He released

the persona. She smiled.

“It should be safe to eat now,” said their cook. “We just need them to cool down

enough to bite into.”

“I can handle that, Angelica,” said Elaine. She waved a hand in a circle. A small

whirlwind blew on the fish sticks to cool them down to be eaten.

“Thanks, Elaine,” said Angelica. She nodded as the sticks reached an eatable

temperature.

The group grabbed the sticks and dug in. Jack nodded at the taste of the fried fish. It

was better than he thought it would be. He saw the others were enjoying the meal

with him.

“This is good, Angie,” said Jack. He saw the others agreed with him. “We need to get

you a restaurant so you can serve a huge amount of people other than just us.”

“That sounds like a bit much,” said Angelica. “Maybe I could work a booth for

myself. Anything else leads to managing things, and not really cooking.”

“You can cook and hire someone to be the manager,” said Jack. “That’s how the big

names do it back home. They do the menu, check the ingredients, train staff, put a

meal together for however many people are expected. They hire someone else to do

everything else, preferably somebody who can manage money and time.”

“That sounds good,” said Angelica. “I could handle all the cooking, and someone else

could handle the hiring and firing. We would have to be almost partners for that to

work smoothly.”

“Yep,” said Jack. “And you would have to hire somebody that wouldn’t try to take

advantage of your skill.”

“It’s a lot to think about,” said Angelica.

Jack nodded as the girls and their hanger-ons finished their small meal on the rocky

shore. He looked at the sun going down. It was probably already darkening in Hawk

Ridge. They had to move if they wanted to get the kids to the show.

“Police up your trash,” said Jack. “I think it would be good if no one knew we were

here.”

“The dock?,” asked Elaine.

“Can you do something about it?,” said Jack. “I’ll get the quinjet so we can head

home.”

“All right,” said Elaine. “I do need the practice.”

“Can you show me how to fly the quinjet?,” asked Matilda.

“Why?,” asked Jack.

“In case I need to know,” said Matilda. “We might need a pilot if you and the Missus

aren’t around.”

“Are you already planning to steal it?,” asked Jack.

“No,” said Matilda. “I just want to know. I saw some things when you were

shepherding us around, and I want to make sure I can remember how you did things,

and if I could do the same thing if I have to fly for us.”

“I suppose that would be good,” said Jack. “Elaine is supposed to fly us back. You

can sit in the co-pilot chair with her.”

“Don’t you think that’s dangerous?,” asked Melanie.

“Elaine can handle it,” said Jack. “She has nerves of steel, a will of iron, and a grasp

of ability unlike anything I have ever seen. She can definitely get us over Hawk Ridge

with no problem.”

“Can she land us?,” asked Laura.

“I have no idea,” said Jack. “It will be fun finding out.”

Jack called on Ikaris and took to the air with Matilda in his arms. He landed on the

roof of the quinjet with ease. He put Matilda down as he looked around.

“I should have thought about this more,” said Jack. He flipped through his watch,

checking personas until he had the Doorman. Taking on that persona allowed him

to gate himself and Matilda into the quinjet. “I need to remember that one.”

They made their way to the front of the floating boat. Jack helped Matilda adjust her

seat, and strapped her in. She would be able to reach the controls with no problem

“Don’t touch anything,” said Jack. He strapped himself in and looked out the

window. Elaine stood at the shore end of the dock. She pushed down and the stone

sank below the waves. “Ready?”

“Yes, Milord,” said Matilda. “What do we do first?”

“We start with the checklist and hope I didn’t make a mistake dropping the quinjet

into the lake when I should have landed her on the shore,” said Jack. He started down

each reminder, checking that Matilda was absorbing the information. She called

everything back to him before he lit the engines and vertically ascended.

“We’re going to head inland for a minute and land,” said Jack. “We’re not going to

go full throttle since we don’t need to do that for a little hop so we can pick up the

others.”

“I’m ready,” said Matilda.

Jack lifted the quinjet over the campsite. He flew about ten feet more, so the aircraft

hovered over a partial stone, partial grass, clearing. He extended the landing gear, and

slowly brought the jet down for a landing. He opened the boarding door for the

Ducklings.

Elaine came forward as the crew boarded. She smiled at Jack and Matilda. Jack

started unstrapping his harness.

“No,” said Elaine. She held up her hand. “I can wait until after we hand everyone

back over to Josie. And Matilda could be able to learn everything faster than I can.”

“I am more than willing to let you fly back to the Hangar,” said Jack.

“I know,” said Elaine. “But I think I would plunge the quinjet into the ground. Josie

would find a way to call us back to the land of the living to get satisfaction for a

mistake like that.”

“All right,” said Jack. “I doubt that Matilda would ever need to fly the jet, but if

she does, the crap has hit the fan.”

Elaine nodded.

“I can do it,” said Matilda. “I just need a little experience and some time.”

“All right,” said Jack. “Let’s get everyone battened down and you can test out some

moves on the way home.”

“I’ll check the others and get seated,” said Elaine. “Don’t let the others bully you into

doing something with the quinjet that you will regret, Matilda. Being a pilot will be

a responsibility.”

“Yes, ma’am,” said Matilda. “I wish Aviras was here to see this.”

“At least he is safe with Josie,” said Jack. “Let me know when you’re ready, Elaine.

We’ll get this show on the road.”

“Yes, dear,” said Elaine. She kissed him on the cheek, and ruffled Matilda’s wild hair

before retreating to the passenger part of the deck.

“Let’s get ready to light this candle,” said Jack.