Calamity of Tomorrow

Realizing that Zhang Aidao’s father might have dementia, Zhou Bai shook his head helplessly.

“I don’t know how to contact Zhang Aidao, either. All I can do is go to the station tomorrow morning and find someone to deliver a message.”

Zhou Bai had finished his porridge when he saw the old man was about to get him another bowl. He hastily stopped him. “Mister, don’t bother. I’ll take care of myself.”

Looking at his somewhat messy and untidy room, Zhou Bai then said, “How about I clean your room for you?”

The old man responded, “You’re going to help dad with the chores? Daodao is such a good kid.”

Zhou Bai smiled. “Then I’ll start by doing the dishes.” As he said this, he helped the old man onto the couch. Then Zhou Bai turned around and glared at Christina, making a throat-slashing gesture.

“Ugh!” Christina was infuriated. “Don’t cross the line, Zhou Bai. I’ve only ever seen humans scoop cat poop; I’ve never seen a cat do the dishes for a human. You’re going against the way of Heaven—You’re digging your own grave!”

A loud bang rang out.

And a moment later, Christina began washing the dishes with tears in her eyes. She cursed, “B*stard! Zhou Bai, you’re inhumane! Cat abuser! I’m going to expose you!”

Elsa wagged her tail, circling around Christina with intrigue.

–Laziness +5–

After Zhou Bai helped the old man sit down, he laid on the couch himself, happily watching his Laziness increase by 5 points.

He rubbed his chin and thought, “Aside from the 200 points I get from lying down every day, it looks like if someone else does what I’m supposed to while I rest, I can also obtain Laziness.”

“But what if no one does what I’m supposed to?”

Then Zhou Bai began experimenting with the rules for obtaining Laziness, and within a few hours, the elder was already sleeping in his bed.

Christina was lying on the floor, panting. Her tail was limp and flat, while her chin was pressed on the ground, with her mouth open and her tongue sticking out.

Elsa was lying next to her, wagging her tail. She imitated Christina by also sticking out her tongue but looking very merry.

Zhou Bai slowly got up from the couch and stretched. Yawning, he said, “I’m so tired. I didn’t expect lying on the couch for four hours straight would be this exhausting. D*amn, my back is about to break. Practicing sure is hard.”

Christina said, “I’m impressed.”

“Hm?”

“You’ve worked hard, Zhou Bai. Practicing has been tiring, so go to sleep and get some rest.”

Zhou Bai stretched his neck, and while glancing at the increased Laziness in his auxiliary system, a smile crept across his face.

After his attempts over the past four hours, Zhou Bai had figured out some patterns.

Not doing what he was supposed to do had increased Laziness. For example, not doing the dishes had added 5 points of Laziness.

These tasks didn’t necessarily have to be performed by someone else. Zhou Bai had told the elder that he would help sweep the floor, but he hadn’t ordered Christina to do it. He had just laid on the couch and done nothing, but he still had gotten 5 points of Laziness.

“But I have free cat labor, and I can’t bully the old man, so of course I have to make Christina do it,” Zhou Bai thought as he rubbed his chin. “But whatever I have to do must be a task that I can perform and is logical. And it seems to be impossible to obtain Laziness by repeating the same tasks in one day.”

“When I had intentionally said that I would bring Zhang Aidao over, or that I would give him a new house or treat his illness, those impossible tasks also didn’t increase Laziness.”

Zhou Bai realized that the auxiliary system had its own logic on collecting Laziness, but even though he still didn’t completely understand it, he determined that the best thing to do now was to go with the flow and take advantage of every opportunity.

“But what’s the principle of this Laziness? Changing the timeline? Changing the results to collect energy? Creating a parallel universe? Creating a new future to collect some sort of power?”

Zhou Bai shook his head. The principle of Laziness was too profound for him, and there was no use thinking about it. “Therefore, before the entrance exam officially starts, I’ll try my hardest to raise Laziness and increase my Primordial Spirit Value.”

Over the next few days, Zhou Bai lived in the old man’s home and practiced hard, continuously raising his Laziness and transferring those points to his Primordial Spirit Value.

“Christina! Go wipe the floor!”

“Christina! Massage my lower back. It’s so sore from lying down.”

“Christina! I want to eat Buddha Jumps over the Wall for dinner.”

Christina finally protested. “That’s enough! Buddha Jumps over the Wall? How about I kill myself and make a plate of Tiger Dragon Battle for you?”

As time passed, Zhou Bai practiced. The night before the entrance exam, he not only had raised his Primordial Spirit Value to 99 points, but he also had an extra 1,000 points of Laziness.

As he examined his points, Zhou Bai took on a serious expression. “Should I try to raise my Primordial Spirit Value to 100 points today?”

“According to Zhang Aidao, when Degree of Taoification is 0%, Primordial Spirit Value can only be raised to 99 points at most before one officially practices Tao.

“But the auxiliary system wasn’t conventional practice. It adds points to me directly, so it might be able to let me break through the 99-point limit and stand out during the exam tomorrow.”

Zhou Bai wanted to give it a try, but just as he was about to raise it, his mind was suddenly flooded with images from his memory.

“In the underground base, rows of corpses in the secret room…

“Elsa, demonified into a shiba inu…

“Bando’s distorted upper torso…

“Zhang Aidao’s father, with dementia…”

These images flashed through his mind and extinguished his desires little by little.

“Zhou Bai, this is my final lesson: Live on, no matter how lowly, how afraid, how hopeless… Live on…”

He heard a certain man’s voice in his ears again. Zhou Bai shook his head. “Phew, never mind. Safety first, safety first. And besides, exceeding 99 points and attracting everyone’s attention might not be the best move.”

Therefore, Zhou Bai didn’t raise his Primordial Spirit Value to 100 points in the end, and he left Laziness as is, got in bed, and slept until the next morning.

As Zhou Bai got out of bed in the morning, an aroma rushed into his nose.

Zhang Aidao’s father walked up with a bowl of noodles, saying, “Daodao, you’re taking the test today. Dad made you some noodles with two poached eggs.”

Zhou Bai went blank for a moment and then smiled. He took over the noodles and, after his first bite, said in a quiet voice, “Thank you, dad.”

The elder look surprised at this but also very happy.

When he was done eating, Zhou Bai opened the door and walked out while the elder waved at him from behind and said, “Daodao! Good luck!”

Zhou Bai waved his hand, signaling the elder to go back inside.

Christina lounged on the windowsill with a joyous smile on her face. “That devil is finally gone. I must leave quickly. I can’t live like this anymore. If I keep living like this, I’ll meowing die from exhaustion!”

As she said this and prepared to leave, Elsa appeared before her with a bowl in her mouth and swaying around her.

“I don’t have time to feed you!” Christina grunted and opened the window to leave, but suddenly she felt her body lighten. She turned into an invisible puff of white smoke and disappeared into Zhou Bai’s forehead, leaving Elsa staring out the window and making whining sounds with a bowl in her mouth.