Beware Of Chicken

v3c54: The Teachings of Fa Ram



Sometimes Wa Shi, great and noble dragon that he was, forgot that the outside world was not like his beautiful, bountiful home.

It was to be expected. When one had only the finest things in life, it was only natural that everything else would seem inferior. He wasn’t surprised that his home was so astounding. To him, the strange numbers, and cool new things the Boss made every day had become par for the course.

So when Wa Shi showed his new friend, comrade, and kindred spirit Brother Lu Ri his math formations he had forgotten that they weren’t really used outside of Fa Ram. He, being all wise and great, should have known better for those outside the sphere of Fa Ram were not as capable. It reminded Wa Shi of Sister Guan Chyou, who was also his comrade, and her first encounter with the numbers Wa Shi had used.

She had, within moments, recognised that the knowledge was profound and had asked for a primer. Wa Shi had obliged by creating a set of lessons that brought her up to speed. And so Wa Shi knew there would be no trouble in teaching his new friend.

Wa Shi finished writing out the numbers the Boss had taught him onto the slate mounted onto the wall. Wa Shi, Boss, and Boss Lady had been messing around with the chalk again, trying to make their own. It sucked and was crumbly as all hell but a bit of Qi kept it together just fine.

‘Do I need to explain this more?’ Wa Shi asked. He was quite used to explaining math formations to people by now. First with Chun Ke and then for Guan Chyou. It had taken a while, both times, so Wa Shi had spent a few hours devising the easiest, and most straightforward explanations. This way they could get it the first time, instead of him having to explain himself over and over.

A bit of work now meant more time to bask in the sun, or invent new flavours! Chun Ke sometimes needed a bit more help but he was Chun Ke. He learned best while out walking and relating the numbers to berries or field sizes anyway.

“I see,” Brother Lu Ri declared instead, his eyes flicking all over. “These would certainly be of use in the applications of mathematics. This symbol… Zero, instead of simply a blank space, would indeed cut down on confusion.”

Brother Lu Ri was referring to what Wa Shi’s mind had told him was the correct method of doing things but that part had been quiet for a while.

‘Yes, it does make things easier.’ Wa Shi agreed, as he pulled some of his “homework” out of the file Boss kept it in. It had a perfect score, and the Boss had drawn a star on the top of the page, signifying his approval. The sweets Wa Shi had received for his score were of course the highlight, but it was still quite interesting how far he had come. His writing back then had been absolutely atrocious! ‘See? These equations with these numbers are much more sensible!’

“The Ten Mathematical Classics?” Brother Lu Ri asked as he picked up the page, that ‘surprised yet approving’ look on his face. “Junior Brother knows well the wisdom of the ancestors.”

It had actually been the Boss’ wife that had given him the things, when the Boss had asked for her help designing lessons. She had said every Scholar had to learn them. Boss had grimaced at the sight of them.

They had been rather boring, in Wa Shi’s opinion. Boss always got them to do fun things, like blast people with water for his ‘fluid dynamics’ or drop different things from the same height for ‘gravity’. Sure, sometimes in his lessons they had to stop early as the Boss admitted he didn’t remember the equations for more advanced concepts but it was fine to get the point across, and Wa Shi could normally fill in the blanks anyway when he cared to.

‘See? Useful, huh?’ The dragon asked, and Brother Lu Ri nodded his head absently.

“But I do have to ask, why right to left instead of left to right? Reversing the order.. Well, it does look right, in the way the equations are arranged, but that's the strangest thing to change.” Lu Ri squinted at the rows. Wa Shi shrugged. It worked, and really, that was all that had mattered. “Still, it is impressive that he made such a comprehensive system.”

‘Nah, Boss said he had learned it from somewhere else. Probably the Archive?’

Lu Ri’s eyes sharpened, as he started massaging his chin again. “A mortal creation? Well, that makes sense then. These would be of limited use in cultivation, and formations.”

Wa Shi paused at that. ‘Huh? Math is math, isn’t it?’

Brother Lu Ri shook his head at the question. “Not wherein formations are concerned… or rather, the most powerful of them. While some do change the characters to obfuscate what their intentions are, the representations of the symbols are always inferior to the true symbols.” Brother Lu Ri raised his hand in front of his face, his finger glowing with power. “This is Junior Brother’s one.” He dragged it down through the air, leaving a thin, glowing line. “It is a representation. A good representation, I would even say. But while this represents one—” The glowing finger raised again, and Lu Ri pulled it horizontally through the air next to the first line. The character pulsed as it formed, seeming more than the vertical line. It was right. “This is one.”

Wa Shi stared at the glowing slashes that represented numbers. The thin vertical one, and the thick, heavy presence that was horizontal. He glanced from one to another. He understood what his kindred spirit meant… and yet, he himself felt that that might not be entirely correct.

Because the feeling that “this is one” had all but disappeared from Wa Shi.

Was it truly one?

Or did brother Lu Ri just believe that it was one, and everything else was derivative?

Wa Shi pondered the question for a moment.

It sounded like a lot of boring theoretical work, and he probably wasn’t the first person to think of it.

Wa Shi shrugged, and filed away the thought, then turned to his companion. ‘Shall we continue on the optimal timing of tea?’

“I do believe we shall.” Lu Ri declared.

Wa Shi showed his fellow connoisseur the power of his Math Formation.

===========================

Life Good.

That was what Chunky believed, as the days passed.

He closed his eyes and took a nice, deep breath, his nostrils filling with the wonderful scent of spring. The wildflowers were pretty and waving in the breeze, and the little buzzing friends were busy. They were good, polite, buzzing friends and did not sting any other friends.

Good bees.

He opened his eyes and exhaled, letting the air flow out of his lungs. The grass waved and perked up. The tree, hurt by the fight between Big Brother and Old Gramps, stood up straight again.

It would be fine now. It would not hurt any more. Chunky’s Qi made strong. Protected. Let others be as big and tough as Chunky!

Even if tree was still angry and complaining about being pulled out of the ground. Chunky agreed. Getting pulled out of the ground must have been very bad!

But it was good again. The whole clearing was good again. Friend birds were chirping, and building nests, singing to wife and husbands. Friend foxes skulked about, digging their hidey holes in the dirt.

Yes. Life Good.

Sometimes not so good. Sometimes, bad things happen. Sometimes, friends and family fight. Sometimes there were mean words and hurt. Sometimes, friends and family fought.

But Chunky believed that these hurts could be repaired. Maybe they had been lucky, that no hurt had been too deep; Chunky believed that it was because they had worked together.

Big Brother always said optimism good.

Satisfied after checking the earth and the trees, Chunky left the forest. He was just the right size. He was big and strong, but he did not break or uproot the trees, even though he could.

And soon, there was the bright sun shining above again again. No more leaves.

Chunky walked along the fence, sniffing at the shoots of peas and climbing berry bushes Big Brother had planted with everybody. From there, he went to the fields; there was wheat, soybeans, gourds, onions, and turnips. Every tasty friend was growing so big and strong already, but was not food yet. In potato field, little friend Bowu smiled, as he patted his spinning digging thing, and then smiled bigger when he picked it up and put it on his back, walking away. Little friend Hou Ten was with him, and Bowu complained when monkey friend clambered up onto the spinny, making little Bowu stumble.

Chunky smiled, and kept walking. Past the other field with Old Gramps, staring carefully at his hoe.

Chunky nearly stumbled when Old Gramps pushed Qi into ground. Gentler this time, but…

“Sè láng! Gǒu niáng yǎng de, èr bǎi wŭ!”

Pervert, son of a dog, quarter wit?

“Rude.” Chun Ke declared. Big Little Sister was very rude! But… that Qi wasn’t very nice…

Chunky would help. Chunky chuffed at Old Gramps.

“Oh?” Old Gramps asked.

Chunky gave encouragement to Old Gramps. Showed him how.

Chunky gave Qi to Big Little Sister.

“Thank you.” Came a soft whisper, and a ghostly hand through his mane. Big Little Sister thanked everybody these days!

“Hm? Oh, the purity was lacking? I, Shen Yu, have a lack of purity in my Qi?” Old Gramps stared for a moment longer, and then nodded. “I see. Thank you, Chun Ke. Hmph. Damn demons, no wonder this was not working. I’ll have to ask my granddaughter for another lovely session of acupuncture… Instead, how about…”

“This Mixed Melon! This Bastard of three fathers! You dare try to pat this horse’s ass? Well I won’t forgive you! I bet you wear a green hat too!”

….well. A bit better. Old Gramps was earnest, so Big Little Sister should forgive!

Chunky scolded! Big Little Sister grumbled, but stopped being mean.

From fields, he went to flooded rice paddies. Friend ducks did not fly away, and the water was nice… as nice as the mud. Wife joined Chunky for wallow while Chunky watched house.

Tigu was in front of Big Sis. Her orange hair was brushed. Big Brother was dozing with Littlest Brother in the sun.

Yin was training with her Master Noodle. Friend Lu Ri was sitting at a table, and telling Bi De, Ri Zu, Washy, Lanlan, and Xianghua about the tournament he had been to. Chuky closed his eyes, and leaned into Wife.

The sun traveled across the sky; Gou Ren, Yun Ren, Bei Be came home from Hong Yaowu.

And then it was time for a bath. Chunky and wife were very muddy.

It was warm and nice, and quiet for the first part, as the boys soaked in the tub. Big Brother grumbled that they were going to need a bigger one again.

Chunky agreed. It would be nice to have everybody in the tub.

“Yeah. I’m gonna just get a fire crystal and make a damn hotspring.” Big Brother replied, before stopping. “Yanno, that's actually kind of a good idea…”

“A fire crystal? I’ve got a spare one.” Old Gramps said. He tapped his ring that was almost like wife’s Qi and with a pop, there was a hot crystal

It was as big as the tub. It got very, very hot in bath. Building nearly started to burn, before Old Gramps put it away.

They all laughed about the hot crystal.

And then Big Brother got out the smacky branches. He had a mean grin on his face, as he told Old Gramps to lay down.

Chunky liked the smacky branches. They felt nice.

At least when there weren’t bigger branches in them. And Big Little Sister wasn’t making them glow gold.

“Here! You can have this back!”

Old Gramps yelped, his face looking very funny.

But Big Brother make a big mistake.

Old Gramps picked up Big Brother, with Gou and Yun on either side. They had the smacky branches for the nice hot room, and were all grinning.

Chunky settled in to watch with Bi De, and Wa Shi, and new Friend Lu Ri.

Big Brother got smacked with many leaves. Big Brother shouted and hollered and tried to get away anyway.

Old Gramps didn’t let him.

Chunky knew that nice days never lasted forever. He knew that bad things might happen again.

But they would put anything bad back together.

The nice day ended. And Chunky drifted off to sleep, content.

===========================

“What did you want to show me, my disciples?” Shen Yu asked with a grin on his face as he came into one of Jin’s side rooms. He was in an excellent mood. Meiling had managed to extract a bit more Demonic Qi, but they had drained her supply of medicine as far as she was willing to.

A good egg, his granddaughter. The girl was like a warm, spicy broth. Burning, scathing, and yet comforting, if one could stand the heat.

But Shen Yu’s smile dulled as he gazed at Jin and Bi De. They were both in a serious mood.

The rooster and his grandson pulled out a glowing blue crystal. It was ancient in style and power, and Shen Yu felt his intent sharpen as he laid eyes upon it.

“An old story. I think we may need your help with this one, Gramps.” Jin said.

Shen Yu raised an eyebrow… and pressed a hand to the crystal.


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