A Pacifistic Sword Saint

“Maude!” she heard Silas’s excited voice call out. “Over here!” She turned and saw him waving at a table in the corner. He was wearing his warm smile, and Maude felt her heart skip a beat. The jingling door that had announced her arrival, gently closed behind her.

Maude had known Silas almost as long as she could remember being alive. As a child, he’d been a ratty looking boy. After they’d grown up, Silas had turned into one of the most handsome young men in all of the capitol’s society functions. Maude had received many scowls of envy whenever Silas had asked to take her around the capital shops when she had free time.

She sat down in the chair across from Silas and smiled back. His eyes were shining at her like blue diamonds.

“You made it,” Silas said. He gave her a quick once over and added, “You look pretty banged up.”

Maude grimaced, thinking about the beating that she’d received from her father after getting home from the palace. It had been far more brutal than the usual beatings she’d gotten for making a mistake.

“Yeah,” Maude said. “Training. You know how it goes.” She tried to wave it off. Silas looked as though he didn’t quite believe her. She felt itchy from his gaze.

“You should be saving your strength before going to war,” Silas said. “Some last minute training isn’t really going to sharpen your skills enough in a few days to be worth it. Especially if it puts you in this kind of condition. You could be at a disadvantage in this condition.” He looked stricken.

Maude shrugged. She knew Silas wasn’t wrong. She’d just spent the past two days in bed nursing her wounds and barely able to move. She absolutely knew she would be at a disadvantage going into any battle as roughed up as she was.

“Good luck convincing Duke Holloway of that,” Maude said. “I think the past couple of days have been more brutal than usual because the war is coming up.”

“Please tell me you’re not going to be spending the rest of the time prior to heading to the encampment, training, are you?” Silas asked.

“I’m here aren’t I?” Maude said. “And if you’re worried about tomorrow, I’m not. I’m going to be busy resting up from the last couple of days training.”

Silas sighed with relief. “Thank goodness, Maude. I’m worried about you going into this, and war being your first experiences with any kind of fighting.” he said.

“You and me both,” Maude said.

The server for the cafe came up and took their orders.

“Have you ever been here before?” Silas aksed her as the server walked away.

Maude shook her head. “I’m not even really sure what a sandwich is,” she answered.

“Oh, you’re going to love it, it’s tasty!” Silas said while rubbing his hands together in an excited manner.

“I hope so,” Maude said. “Based on the menu, it sounds delicious.”

“I think you’ll like it,” Silas said, wearing a prideful smile. Maude smiled back.

“So,” Maude said.

“So,” Silas repeated. “Where were you put for the war?”

“Ugh, back to the war,” Maude groaned. “I was actually wondering the same thing about you though.”

“Me?” Silas asked. “I’m leading a unit.”

“You’re also leading a unit?” Maude asked.

Silas raised his eyebrows at her. “You’ve been asked to lead a unit with no experience?” he asked.

“That I have,” Maude said. “And the emperor assured me that as long as I follow his plan, everything will go smoothly.”

Silas widened his eyes. “He had the audacity to say that?” Maude gestured for Silas to keep his voice down. The last thing either of them needed was someone accusing the pair of treasonous comments against the emperor.

Silas shook his head at her. “That couldn’t be a further cry from the truth,” he replied, lowering his voice. “War is all about pivoting your strategy while you’re in the middle of rolling it out. And it’s about changing in the moment and doing something different nimbly and quickly in reaction to what the enemy is doing. War is far from the ideal first foray into leadership and strategy.”

“Thank you for agreeing with me,” Maude said. “The emperor was far less than pleased when I told him I wasn’t really prepared for the role he was trying to give me.”

“Well, the emperor isn’t exactly someone you should say ‘no’ to,” Silas said, squirming uncomfortably in his seat. “So there is that piece of it as well.”

Maude sighed. “Right, don’t say ‘no’ to the emperor. I don’t think I’ll ever make that mistake again.” Silas chuckled awkwardly. “So if you’re also leading a unit, then it’s definitely not possible that we are in the same unit together, isn’t it?” Maude asked.

“Yeah, I’d say there is exactly a zero likelihood of us being on the same unit,” Silas said. “It wouldn’t make sense to have two people leading one unit.”

Maude sighed. “I was really hoping that you’d be there to back me up.”

Silas grimaced. “Same. I figured if you were in my unit we’d be guaranteed success.”

She frowned. “Guaranteed success because...?”

“Well,” Silas said, scratching the back of his neck. “You know...”

“You mean because I’m the sword saint?” Maude asked.

“Well you have to fight no matter what, don’t you?” Silas asked.

“Ehh,” Maude said. “I’m trying to figure out a way to fight as little as possible.”

Silas widened his eyes. “Why?”

“You know exactly why,” Maude answered. “I can’t kill people, I don’t want to hurt others.”

“Do you have a choice?” Silas asked. “This is war. If you want to make it home you have to defend yourself.”

“I know,” Maude groaned. “I know. I would give up so much to not go in the first place. I have no idea how I’m going to make it back in one piece.”

“Why do you doubt that you’re going to make it back?” Silas asked her.

“My father tells me all the time that I’m not very good with the sword,” she said counting reasons on her fingers. “I’m good enough to beat Callum, but he’s not very good. I don’t have any capability to strategize or adjust my actions based on my opponent...” Maude paused. “Just because I’m the sword saint of the empire doesn’t mean I’m automatically an excellent, undefeatable swordswoman.” Maude felt her nostrils flare.

Silas raised his hands slightly, as if he was surrendering. “Okay, I get it. I really don’t think you’re as bad of a swordswoman as you think. Your father is exceptionally harsh on you. I think your ability is augmented by your sword capabilities.”

Maude was taken aback. “You really think that about me?” she asked.

“It’s been a while since we dueled,” Silas said. “And I know for a fact that you let me win,” Maude grimaced at his statement, “but even at that point if you’d given it your all, you could have easily defeated me, and most people.”

If I’d given it my all, Maude thought. The last thing I want to do is give it my all.

“Maybe,” she conceded.

“I think you will make it home just fine, whether you choose to engage in a lot of combat or a little amount of combat,” Silas said. “Me, on the other hand, I am definitely nervous about making it home. I don’t have any special skills to back me up.”

“Do you think I could get away with not fighting at all?” Maude asked.

“Well, I don’t know about that...” Silas said.

“If I could somehow pull that off, it wouldn’t be so terrible to go to war,” Maude continued.

Silas chuckled uncomfortably.

“Ah, sorry,” Maude said. “I got carried away.”

A little light was shining bright in her chest, for the first time in a long while. I can do this, Maude thought. I can follow the emperor’s orders and my values at the same time. All I need to do is lead!

“That’s alright,” Silas said. “Are you worried about me coming home at all?”

“I think you’re going to be okay. You’re an excellent swordsman. You’re certainly among the top five in the empire, if not the best,” Maude said.

Silas looked a little hurt, which caused Maude to furrow her eyebrows. “What did I say?” she asked.

“Nothing, nothing,” he answered with a wounded looking smile. “Let’s just both try to make it back so we can actually consider getting engaged.”

Maude felt her face flush. “Are you sure that I would be acceptable as your life partner?” she asked.

“Our families have already been in talks for years,” He said. “Why wouldn’t you be acceptable?”

Maude giggled. “Yes, let’s both promise to make it back alive,” she said. “Pinky swear?”

“Pinky swear.” Their pinkies interlocked, and Maude felt warm bubbles rising within her.

I can do this. I can come back alive from this war.