A Pacifistic Sword Saint

Despite being on the cusp of winter, Sara Savoy insisted on having tea in the garden. Maude was shivering in her dress and cloak. Having tea outdoors in the chilly air was much different than training in it.

They were sitting in Sara’s favorite spot, a white gazebo right in the middle of the garden. The gazebo was covered in vines, and part of why it was Sara’s favorite was because the vines bore bright blue morning glory flowers every spring. Maude knew one of the reasons’ why they were Sara’s favorite was because the flowers lasted a lot longer than others.

In front of her, Sara sipped her cup of tea. Maude picked up her cup only to hear Sara tisk at her.

“Maude,” Sara sighed. “How many times have I told you the proper way to hold a teacup?”

“More times than I can count,” Maude muttered, grimacing. Nearly every time she came and saw Sara, they had this exact conversation. “You know I never learned proper etiquette.”

Sara sighed again, sounding exasperated. “Once you decide to settle down and you try to have a normal life, you are going to be mocked for not knowing how to hold a teacup,” she said.

"If I decide to settle down,” Maude said. ”If I even get a choice in the matter.” She took a sip of the tea and felt her nostrils flare. The bitter liquid slid down her throat, and it took every ounce of her concentration not to choke.

Sara must have noticed Maude’s reaction to the tea, as she sighed again. “Well,” Sara said. “I suppose Silas is always an option.”

Maude’s face flushed. “True,” she said. “I believe my father has had a conversation or two with his family about that.”

Sara had a smirky little smile on her face. “I think you two would be an excellent match,” she said. “And I know for a fact Silas would not oppose it.”

Maude felt her face heat up even more. “I think I could be happy with him.”

“Silas is handsome, too. A lot of the ladies would be jealous of you,” Sara said. “Plus his family is well off enough that they’d be able to afford etiquette lessons for you. The only match that would be better would be a prince of another country!”

Maude shook her head. “I wouldn’t be okay with leaving the empire. This is my home.”

Sara chuckled. “You would have to have had etiquette lessons and be a prim and proper lady already if you were going to marry into the royalty of another country, anyway.” Sara shook her head. “There’s no way your father will be able to marry you off to a foreigner. I don’t really understand what the duke was thinking by not giving you etiquette lessons and forcing you to train all the time. He’s setting you up for failure.”

Maude felt a touch of the sickness that she’d felt from her argument with her father the day before. She picked up her tea cup and took a gulp of the liquid. This time, she couldn’t help but gag.

“It’s an acquired taste,” Sara said, trying to assure Maude, just like always. “The more you drink it, the more you will come to appreciate its flavors.”

Maude set the tea cup down. The wind whistled through the garden, sending shivers up her spine.

I hope I never have to acquire the taste of dirty water, Maude thought. What a painful way to live.

“Moving on,” Sara said, sipping her tea again. Her warm eyes met Maude’s over the edge of the tea cup. “Did you hear that the empire is going to war?”

Maude swallowed hard, wishing she hadn’t just chugged all of her tea down. There was a teapot in the center of the table, but she desperately did not want to drink more. Her quickly parching throat seemed to have other plans in mind.

“I did hear that,” Maude managed to choke out.

Sara raised her eyebrows. “The Savoy family just received our notice right before you arrived. Does that mean you’ve finally been called into service?”

Maude’s tongue felt like sandpaper. She nodded at Sara, while thinking of topics she might be able to switch the conversation to.

Sara’s eyes sparkled. “Oh my goodness, Maude!” she exclaimed. “I’m so happy for you! You’ve been training for this for so long!”

Maude smiled weakly. “Thanks, I guess,” she said. “The emperor wants me to lead an army to boot.”

Sara stood up and grabbed one of Maude’s hands. “What an honor!”

Maude grimaced. “Maybe for someone else.”

Sara sat back down, dropped Maude’s hand, and slammed one of her own, palm down, on the table. “I hate this attitude of yours, Maude,” she said. “You have no idea what I’d give for special powers like yours.”

“You want special powers that make it easier to kill others?” Maude asked, raising her eyebrows. “It sounds more like a curse to me.”

Sara sighed, sounding aggravated. “Of course, the person who has the gift is always the one who hates it the most. Maude. Do you know how much I’d love to have the power to defend myself?”

“Why do you need to defend yourself?” Maude asked.

“I guess you’re the wrong person to try to explain this to,” Sara replied, exasperated. “But even going to the marketplace in the capital has some inherent dangers to it. There are thieves, people who would gladly kidnap me and hold me ransom, and even those who would wish to kill me simply because I’m a noble. I can’t just go to the market. I have to take guards with me. I have no true freedom because I can’t protect myself.” Sara paused, breathing heavy from the speed at which she was talking.

Maude felt her stomach tighten. Her heart skipped a couple of beats, and her breathing sped up. “You assume I haven’t experienced something like that before,” Maude said through clenched teeth.

Sara blinked at Maude, surprised. “I suppose you’re right,” she agreed. “I shouldn’t have assumed that you hadn’t.”

“Those people think so little of human life,” Maude continued. “I want to be nothing like them. That’s why it’s a curse.”

“But Maude,” Sara said. “You can also use your abilities to defend your loved ones. If I had your powers and you were in danger, I could protect you. Is that not also valuing human life?”

Maude was taken aback. “That’s something I’d never considered,” she replied. “But even still, the idea of taking a life to save a life makes me nauseous.”

“Would you choose to protect me if I was in danger?” Sara asked.

Maude had to stop talking for a moment. She thought about her family. She studied Sara’s face, thinking about what she’d choose to do if Sara was in danger.

“Do people normally feel that way towards their families?” Maude asked. “I feel like you’re the only one I might fight for.”

Sara rolled her eyes. “Most people would fight for their families, Maude,” she said. “And usually their friends and loved ones too.”

“Maybe I’m broken, then,” Maude said. “Let me try again.”

This time, Maude conjured images of her family members in her mind. She saw Callum’s eyes on the other side of his sword, flashing at her with rage. She saw her father screaming at her over not wanting to go to war. She saw the sneer on her maid’s face while asking for help undressing. She heard her step-mother tisking at her for having not bathed before dinner one time.

“No,” Maude confirmed. “I’d never put my life on the line for my family.”

Sara met Maude’s eyes, looking hurt and a touch disappointed. “Do you feel like you have anything to protect?” Sara asked Maude.

“Not at all,” Maude said.

“Do you feel the need to protect yourself?” Sara asked.

Maude winced, and then shook her head. “I will lose whenever I try to protect myself.”

“Well, you’re definitely the strange one, then,” Sara said. “Every lady I know would pay hand over fist to be in your shoes. I think it’s a lot harder to be a helpless lady than you think.”

“I think killing someone is a lot harder than you think,” Maude said softly.

Sara looked a little surprised, but then nodded. “Fair point,” she conceded. “So what will you do about the war then?”

“I will just not go unless the emperor orders me to,” Maude said.

“You know that there is a pretty good chance of him ordering you to, with you being the only sword saint in the empire and all.”

“I know,” Maude nodded. “But that isn’t a guarantee that he will.”

“I’d just assume that he’s going to order you to go to war, if I was you,” Sara said. “It may have come as a request from the emperor, but for all intents and purposes, it might as well have been an order.”

Maude shrugged. “I guess I will cross that bridge when I get to it,” she said.

Sara sipped her tea, and someone came out of the manor running towards them.

“Lady Holloway!” they shouted. “Lady Holoway!” They paused to catch their breath as they neared the gazebo. “Lady Holloway,” the servant said. “Your father has arrived to pick you up. He says you have an urgent appointment with the emperor.”

Maude glanced at Sara. Sara shrugged, gently placing her teacup back down in it’s saucer. “It wasn’t a request,” she said.