A Gamer's Guide To Beating The Tutorial

“You aren’t immune,” I say, deliberately.

“Nonsense. I haven’t—”

“You aren’t immune,” I say again, a little louder this time, “because you have been sick. But… But when Plus donated his heart, it got healed. You were safe, and good.”

“That’s nice,” Moleman says, but his voice is strangely absent. “Lovely for Plus to do that. Helping me out and all.”

Damn it. What is wrong with him? I push through it. “You aren’t sick right now. But if you were to fall sick…” I shake my head. “Listen—you remember I said Jazz had some kind of ultra-fast mutation or whatever? Rat has the same thing. He’s beyond help and he’s beyond talking. He’s basically gone already. I don’t know how this new mutation works, so whether he lasts one day or three is up to chance, but… Yeah. He’ll be dead within days.”

“That’s no good.”

“Exactly! It’s not good—it’s bad. It’s really, really freaking bad. Because, guess what? After he dies—I’ll be the only human left. Nobody else will be able to heal you if you fall sick.”

“I see. That would be problematic, yes. I can’t really do this without you, so I need you around. And I’ll need at least a month or so to fix this plague situation…” He hums thoughtfully. After a few moments, he holds up his hand and snaps his finger. “I got it! We’ll need to act a bit quickly since Rat is unpredictable right now, but could you call Benevil here?”

My mouth feels dry. I lick my lips. “Well, uh… Since Cruelty is probably interested in all of this, I wouldn’t be surprised if…”

The door to the hallway opens and Benevil steps inside. “He’s kept me updated, yes.” Without waiting for me to say anything, he turns to Moleman. “Now, what did you have in mind, dearest mayor?”

“One of your miracles allows the victim to live for a month longer, right?”

“That’s right. Their body is put in a sort of stasis, getting neither better nor worse, without being infectious, either.” His expression doesn’t even waver. “However, I feel like I should mention that I don’t have much time left. Hardly enough to use this expensive miracle.”

“But it would be possible, no?”

“Perhaps,” Benevil answers. “Maybe as a favor.” His lips spread a little, though it didn’t quite become a smile. It was more of a sneer. “I suppose it would be a fittingly cruel end, to die to let a man suffer like an animal for a month. All so that if things came down to it, you could use him up to continue your reign.” A toothy grin. He reached out, and placed his hand on Moleman’s shoulder. “Kitty has truly raised you into a brutally kind ruler, Mole. When this city dies, and you rise from its ashes, I have no doubts that you will continue to conquer and kill with kindness. It fits you.”

“Thank you,” Moleman said. “So, will you do it?”

“If my Lord and Master is so cruel as to grant this final request—yes.”

Anxiously, I let my eyes hover where a certain status message should pop up at any time. Right about now…

considers closely the request

given by His Apostle.>

hums.>

<[Very well. I shall allow it.

You are all too entertaining to let

slip away.]

Benevil’s expression softens. “I see. So, this is it, then. Will you allow me to bid farewell to my apprentice?”

“Of course,” Moleman says sympathetically. “Take all the time you need.”

“Thank you. You are too kind.”

He left. I watched him from the window in the door. I could only see his face, crouched down, talking warmly. Kindly. A pair of small, slim arms reached up and around his neck, and now I could see Mitt, too. Her pained, despairing face, her screams muted by the thick walls. And Benevil, patting her on the back, holding her tightly. First her brother, and now him. I can’t help but wonder what’ll become of her. Maybe she’d be better off…

I turn to look at Moleman. He must feel horrible. I mean, when we saved her, he was in a right state. Sure, he’s changed a bit since then, but he’s still himself, and she’s still—

He isn’t looking at her. He’s looking at the open air, eyes moving left to right. Reading.

“What are you looking at?”

“I’m checking through my notes. There’s a meeting I have to be at in half an hour, but I’ve already canceled one meeting today, so I can’t really afford to skip this one.”

“You’re leaving?”

“I think so, yeah. That’s fine, right? It’s not like I can do anything to help. I’ll just be in the way. That’s… okay, right?” His smile trembles. “You don’t think I’m a bad friend, do you?”

“No, of course not,” I say easily. “You’re an amazing friend! I mean, if it weren’t for you… Well, you know. I’ve said this whole speech so many times you hardly need to hear it again. I owe you everything.”

“Thanks, Kitty.” The smile rights itself, placidly engraving itself onto his lips. “I’m glad to hear that.”

The door opens and Benevil enters, closely followed by Mitt. Their eyes are both puffy and red. “Is everyone ready?”

“Ah, sorry, but I’ll be leaving,” Moleman says. “I have a meeting I need to get to.”

Benevil slowly turns to look at him. He cracks a smile. Then, he chuckles. It develops into a giggle. And after only a few seconds, he bursts into full-blown laughter, cackling, hysterics, a fit of mania that forces him to hunch over, supporting himself on his knees, each wheezing laugh interspersed by a hoarse gasp for air. “Oh, oh,” he says once he stops giggling and panting. He puts his hand on Moleman’s shoulder. “You are too kind! Oh, I always knew you had it in you, but this is too much, too far. Wonderful! If He hadn’t already had His eye on my dear apprentice, I am certain the God of Cruelty would be most interested in your future exploits.”

Confused by his outburst, Moleman simply stares back, his smile straining. “Um, okay? Well…” He looked down at Mitt, regaining some strength. “On that note… Since you’ll be dead soon, I was thinking that I might take her in. Kitty will be busy doing other things, so I’ll be needing an assistant. How does that sound?”

“As a follower of Cruelty,” Benevil said, “I am certain she could find no greater teacher.”

Moleman bowed politely. “You underestimate yourself, Doctor.”

“Certainly not.” His face darkened slightly. “Now, be off with you. I have an appointment with death.” He cocked his head at me. “I don’t suppose you’ll be bringing your little pet with you?”

Moleman looks at me oddly. “Were you thinking of staying?”

Ah. Uh… Oh. “No,” I say. Why was I thinking of staying? Obviously, my place is at Moleman’s side. There’s no need for me to watch Benevil die. I don’t gain anything from it. I lose nothing. “I’ll come with you.”

Moleman smiles, relieved. “Great. Let’s get going, then. My nine o'clock is a noble, and they aren’t very keen on waiting.”

As we leave, I shoot Benevil one last look. “Thanks,” I mumble. He nods at me.

“May Cruelty spread through you,” he said. “And may your master cherish you.”

I frown at him. The door closes behind me and I see the last of him.

Hm. I wonder who he meant.

Weird.